Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Good Bye
My eldest uncle passed away in his sleep on Sunday morning.
He was (argh, the past tense there...) a kind and loving man who raised a closed knit family with 2 sons and 3 well behaved and sensible grandchildren. The bond between him and his wife will be one that I hope to emulate in my marriage in the years to come.
My kids became close to him when we traveled to Korea together last year and they call him dai kao kong (eldest grand uncle in cantonese).
I brought them to the wake to pay our respects and to say goodbye, explaining gently on the way there that dai kao kong had passed away and we are going to tell him goodbye, and we will miss him.
While there, the kids were at first insistent on being carried while we lit up the joss sticks and went to his coffin. He looked at peace and there were no marks from the fall he had taken 2 months ago.
"Say bye-bye to dai kao kong"
"Bye-Bye dai kao kong"
"Mommy, does this means dai kao kong die already?"
"Yes, that's why we are saying good bye to him"
"When is he going to rise again?" (the kids are in a kindergarden run by a church group)
"No, he is not going to rise again" dreading the question of when will they see him again, and NEVER is such harsh reality.
"So is he in heaven?"
"Yes, maybe, he is definitely not feeling any pain now ok?"
"ok"
We mingled with the rest of the mourners and extended our gestures of support to my cousins and aunty, who seem to be holding up well although i know that they had all broken down earlier in the day and were still in states of shock.
The kids warmed up slowly amidst in the strange surrounding and were plied with sweets, nuts and desert by relatives, and soon were curious of the rites and chanting going on.
They wanted to go and see dai kao kong again, and we did before we left the wake.
This time they waved good bye too.
I hope they will always remember playing in the snow with dai kao kong, eating roast sweet potatoes from roadside hawkers, and laughing so much that their belly ached.
Rest in Peace, Dai Kao Fu.
And may you keep my parents safe and healthy...
He was (argh, the past tense there...) a kind and loving man who raised a closed knit family with 2 sons and 3 well behaved and sensible grandchildren. The bond between him and his wife will be one that I hope to emulate in my marriage in the years to come.
My kids became close to him when we traveled to Korea together last year and they call him dai kao kong (eldest grand uncle in cantonese).
I brought them to the wake to pay our respects and to say goodbye, explaining gently on the way there that dai kao kong had passed away and we are going to tell him goodbye, and we will miss him.
While there, the kids were at first insistent on being carried while we lit up the joss sticks and went to his coffin. He looked at peace and there were no marks from the fall he had taken 2 months ago.
"Say bye-bye to dai kao kong"
"Bye-Bye dai kao kong"
"Mommy, does this means dai kao kong die already?"
"Yes, that's why we are saying good bye to him"
"When is he going to rise again?" (the kids are in a kindergarden run by a church group)
"No, he is not going to rise again" dreading the question of when will they see him again, and NEVER is such harsh reality.
"So is he in heaven?"
"Yes, maybe, he is definitely not feeling any pain now ok?"
"ok"
We mingled with the rest of the mourners and extended our gestures of support to my cousins and aunty, who seem to be holding up well although i know that they had all broken down earlier in the day and were still in states of shock.
The kids warmed up slowly amidst in the strange surrounding and were plied with sweets, nuts and desert by relatives, and soon were curious of the rites and chanting going on.
They wanted to go and see dai kao kong again, and we did before we left the wake.
This time they waved good bye too.
I hope they will always remember playing in the snow with dai kao kong, eating roast sweet potatoes from roadside hawkers, and laughing so much that their belly ached.
Rest in Peace, Dai Kao Fu.
And may you keep my parents safe and healthy...
Labels: to Despair
# posted by yojanjan : 9/23/2008 12:39:00 PM
