Own Time Own Target

I'm having PMS. Post Marathon Blues.

I mean, after the the deed's been done, i'm here asking myself, "that's it?", "was that all?", "what now?"

I had a goal in the last 6 months, to run and finish a marathon. And now, a week after the fact, i have nothing to look forward to... so i thought i'll journey back and ponder upon why i run and why a marathon.

First of all, it must have been for my health and vanity.

I started running about 3 months after bb #2, i still remember buying a pair of new running shoes Dec last year with Leng. :) and the first run, where i barely lasted 1.5km, and absolutely everything jingled, everything. it was so ridiculous that i giggled. but it was hardly surprisingly, since the last time i had properly exercised was probably 3 years prior, from before bb#1.

i had started feeling a sense of despair of how i felt, though outwardly, i was probably then at my thinnest for over 4-5 years. nothing drastic there, but 3-4 kg on a small person like me made a lot of difference.

The second reason is for my mental health. sometimes i run to think, about work, relationship, worries, plans, cheem thoughts, whatever. sometimes i run to empty my mind, and get connected to my body.

The third reason must be to be able to eat my favorite foods without guilt.

i mean, i have never ever counted calories in my life, but some of my absolute favorite foods are absolutely sinful, little as i care about calories.

- foei gras
- gourmet bak kwa
- B&J chunky monkey
- grilled squid
- medium rare steak
- fresh oysters
- oyster ommelette
- grill chicken wings
- macadamia nuts
- chocolate with brandied whole cherry

and last but not least, i really enjoy running. it is a solidarity sport, it is just you, your running shoe and the road. it really doesnt have to be more complicated than that.


now, the more difficult question. why a marathon, the whole 42.195km?

it is a life goal of mine, something to accomplish in this life time, at least once.

i suppose a seed was sown when yvonne danson did a 2:39:19 at the Altanta Olympic games for Singapore. (tho she somehow first fainted and then ran a wrong section in the same year's SEA games to not end up with any medal, and then faded away from the local track and field AFAIK).

but i've only seriously considered it only 7-8 years ago. i had stuck a post-it note of the distance and the time on my pc for 2-3 years, but was too busy with work, being a gym rat and major partying to do anything about it. then the marriage and then the kids came.

finally it dawn on me late last year that i may be getting too old. and so i started on the journey.

ok, but still.... why?

i cant say. it may have started as a challenge to myself, a goal to work towards, to prove that i can. but now that i've done it. i'm still dont know if that says anything about me, and more importantly, if it said anything to me.

maybe it is truly a journey, and getting there is really most of the point.

another one to find out? we'll see.

Labels: to Sweat