Own Time Own Target

gosh~* i'm not sure if i'm having anxieties about my 1st full marathon. Had the worst sleep last nite with dreams abt:

- had to retie my shoe laces a thousand times cos the fit didnt feel right, over the arches, the heel, the toes, the ankle.... in the end i gave up and change shoes!
- was caught in huge jam at start point, being jostled with lots of illegal workers who looked like they were trying to escape from police, and we were all overflowing over the roads, traffic junction, drains and i had to climb over a wall to continue
- had to run to a restroom immediately- saw a thief in action, help apprehend him, and to wait to make police report
- went home to change and drink water (huh???)
- was delayed with kids, i think i fed them their lunch...
- left again 2 hours later (!!!)- support team waited for HOURS for me, and by the time i showed up, they were really cheesed off (since i went home and they lost track of me) and refused to support anymore
- at 7pm on the same nite, i was still at 10km mark which incidentally was at a 24 hour kopi tiam and a live football match was being shown on a huge TV screen. E absolutely refused to let me continue. dunno becos he thot it was pointless and stupid to continue (at that late hour) or he wanted to watch the soccer match.
- i had a meltdown, and felt totally disappointed at the way things turned out.

i woke up with a start and a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. as i sat up in bed in the dark, i wondered how did it all come to this? and then i realised the SCSM is not till 13 days away! and all those dreadful things didnt happen!

now all (all?) i've got to do is not let those things happen, cant be that difficult, right?

Labels: to Sweat