Own Time Own Target

好心情

2012-01-17T18:52:00.004+08:00

今天摊贩阿姨叫我一声:"小妹."

不知是阿姨嘴巴甜, 还是我真的护颜有方.

在心力交瘁的困境里, 我既然心情好了一大半.

:)

Calm the F down

2012-01-16T18:09:00.000+08:00

Was driving to work and the electronic board said to avoid lanes 2 and 3 on the KJE to PIE and it looked like this:

That meant that the accident was in the middle 2 lanes of a 4-lane carriageway.

When I passed it on the right, it was an accident with a 3 tonner truck on the 2nd land, a van on the 3rd and a motorbike on the side in front of the van. The motorcyclist was sprawled on the road, in an unnatural position like those you see in movies or some tv shows.

My first thoughts were "OH NO!", "What is his family going to do, so close to Chinese New Year?"

Then I started remembering that no matter whether the truck is at fault, he will be cited for an offense for the fact that he was on the 2nd lane.

Then I started thinking that people should really calm the F down when driving.

And I should probably really seriously slow down.

But the problem is I am stone cold calm when I drive, and slowing down will probably bring me to zzz.

WHAM!

2011-11-25T17:03:00.002+08:00

ARGH.

Kenna bwang again.
Was totally stationary again.
Straight hit in the back again.
Rain again, though much heavier downpour.
Slip road going out of expressway again, CTE towards Outram.

This time by a Chinese taxi uncle.

Total damage expected to be $6k-ish due to damage to rear bumper, tail door and boot alignment, plus loss of use for 6-8 days IF the claim is approved and the uncle dont cook up some cock and bull story.

Shit.

conflict

2011-10-17T14:17:00.004+08:00

With mortality on my mind, the immediate thoughts are:

my parents are older than the business associate who passed away, and gosh~ they are really getting on age,
how old my kids will be when I am say, 60 when I go, all 3 will be in their 20s. Way younger than I am now, and too young to lose a parent, (luckily we have insurance in place so they will be financially secured, oh wait, we need to do up a will and appoint legal guardian) and
gosh~ I don't know how I will ever survive if and when I lose E. He may fare better if I go first...

Then the conflicting thoughts see-sawing between

Life is short. I'm going to have Laksa with extra hum for lunch
vs
I need to be alive and be healthy longer, for my kids and E.

I need to exercise more and stay healthy
vs
I need to spend more time with my family and close friends

Choices. choices.

.
.
.
.
.
Confession: I did have laksa for lunch.

Resolution:

I will work my ass off so that I will not need to OT and get home earlier.
Then it will be 20min on the elliptical machine tonight.

Fragile

2011-10-17T12:11:00.004+08:00

Some crazy news over the last few weeks.

Colleague fainted in office and found out that he had been losing blood from bleeding ulcers in the hospital. Op required to clamp the ulcers.
Aunt had cyst in kidney and had an op to remove.
Close associate of the company went for a holiday in Europe and passed away there after a bad cough bout of cough triggered a fatal stroke. His brother now there to assist his wife and daughter with procedures to bring him back.

Of course, not forgetting my MIL's close call and op in June.

This just brings to mind how fragile life is and time is fleeting. I am reassessing my priorities and trying to do better everyday. I want to embrace my family and friends, and not have any regrets.

Today the black moods will not be easy to lift, but I will try to finish work early and be with the kids soon.

CUT at MBS

2011-10-03T16:16:00.002+08:00

Was at CUT @ MBS by Wolfgang Puck on Friday for a business dinner.

The service was uneven, good hostess, flamboyant local (singlish is fun!) captain/ manager, cool efficient wait staff (who were momentary flabbergasted because I moved 1 seat away at my table and they didnt know whom to serve the cocktail to), ok assistant sommelier who looked a lot like Jonathan Leong aka Singapore Idol runner-up (Are you the Sommelier? I am the ASSISTANT sommerlier.)

There was an incident when my boss sent the soup back as it was not hot enough, it came back very quick and hot. My boss joked that it must have been easy to microwave it, and the wait staff was absolutely offended. "SIR, we do not use microwave in our kitchen!"

LOL.

Any way, it was the food we went for, and I started off with a chilli tequila-based cocktail "Devil in Disguise"

Complimentary bread with butter. Oh-they-were-to-die-for even for a non-carb lover like me.

Shared

Big Eye Tuna Tartare
American Wagyu Ribeye 280g (Medium Rare)
USA Prime Ribeye 395g (Medium Rare)
Foie Gras
Wild Field Mushrooms

2 bottle of wines

The other guests had other stuff like oxtail broth, Lobster, Dover sole, various cuts of steak etc.

Total bill $1700.00 for a party of 7

I would do it again for:

Warm Veal Tongue
Big Eye Tuna Tartare
USA Prime Ribeye 395g (Medium Rare)
Foie Gras and Bone Marrow add to the cuts

but but but must save $$$ first.

Plair & Ann Kyou!

2011-09-27T15:01:00.004+08:00

I have forgotten how much fun to have a toddler who is learning to speak... or maybe the 2 older girls spoke full sentences from the get go...

Toddler V is now literally spewing words, most of them nonsense and words that sound vaguely Korean.

We try to point at things and tell her their names, starting from

1.facial and body parts
- hair (because it was the easiest to show since we can pull at them)
- nose
- eye (she will literally poke into her eye at first, but now she points at the corner, with occasional misses)
- ear
- mouth
- teeth (say eeeeEEEEE! works like a charm when you need to take a pic of her "smiling"), and oh she has so many teeth now...
- face
- toes
- fingers
- hand
- shoulder
- neck

2. Survival skills
- WATER
- bao BAO (carry)
- Scared (coupled with hand clapping on chest)
- NO NO NO
- walk
- kiss (she will turn her cheek towards the kisser's mouth), and yes, it IS a survival skill. Love and affection? duh~
- corner

3. Numbers
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and at the end YaaaaAAAY

4. Shapes
- star (this was probably the first word she learnt, that the sounds mean something, it was like a light bulb going up)
- circle
- square
- heart (I love u)
- ring

5. Animals
- Meow meow cat
- Wo wo dog
- moo moo cow
- Bird
- Butterfly
- Quak quak duck
- oo oo monkey
- ssss snake

6. Things
- Airplane
- Car
- Lorry
- Van (we are in car parks a lot)
- Flower

7. Others
- Up
- Down
- Sit
- Lets go
- Again

8. Manners
- Plare (please)
- Ann Kyou (thank you)
- bye bye, see you
you gotta start them young so that they dont turn into horrible little pricks with no manners. If I fail, at least they are pricks WITH manners who will say sorry when they push you out of their way.

9. Songs
- baby baby (yes, THAT one by Justin Bieber)
- Barney song
- Happy Birthday to you (highly associated with candles, proven true again during the recent 7th lunar month when a lot of offerings were around...)
- Twinkle twinkle little star
- Hush little baby
- Row row row your boat
- The wheels of a bus
- Head and shoulders knees and toes
- Mr Sun
- Good morning
- Incy wincy little spider
- assorted chinese songs as well

I am now trying to teach her the word "tree" when we are outdoors.

"Baby, look, a tall Tree! Green Tree"
"FOur! Five! Six! SeVen! Eight! NiNE! TEN. YAAAAAAAY!!!"

giggles.

Awesomeness

2011-09-09T18:39:00.001+08:00

hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

Did you already know about this blog? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

Oh you don't?

ermm... It's really good, in that childlike honest funny kind of way.

I was going to write to Allie to tell her how much I like her work, but then she already has tons of fan mail which she may read but will never get around to replying (not that I wanted a reply).

So I'm just going to send her good thoughts and wish her well.

But if I don't tell her that I am sending her good thoughts, will she still know that I am sending her good thoughts and will she feel the good thoughts?

Maybe I will still send her that email.

Elected Presidential

2011-08-23T10:26:00.002+08:00

Read a very good commentary from Catherine Lim, the famous writer who once incurred the rile of the-then PM Goh who placed out-of-bound markers on political commentaries.

That dovetails with my take on the expectations of the people vs the constitution, though mine is much less elegant.

My version:

The people is looking for ah-gong (grandfather or influential elder), one who will take their father to task for being a harsh and uncaring disciplinarian, who seems to favor their business sibling but not them.

Unfortunately, what we are electing is a Jeeves (that all knowing butler) who will help to manage the household in the social upkeeping and morale-boosting, but he will never usurp his master, but only to guard the house and safe with fervor when the mistress drives away the master and bring with her a new lover.

Old fashion

2011-08-22T23:53:00.007+08:00

Call me old fashion but I believe in the p's and q's

An incident today with the new secretary (not mine, thank goodness, my boss's. If I had one I would have gotten a male, less emotional issues aside, but the novelty of a guy making coffee and tea on demand!)

Right... The incident.

My office is situated on the 2 level in a factory building. To access my office, I will have to unlock the 1st level glass door, go to level 2, unlock the level 2 glass doors then another wooden door to my dept. The 1st level door has 2 panels, the left is usually locked and we only use the one on the right.

We are currently undergoing renovation and the secretary opened the left panel of the glass door for work to be done. But when she left for the day, she left it unlocked. Unfortunately, she alone has the key to that glass door panel because she had been at least a month tardy in duplicating it

Even more unfortunately, I was the last to leave after a long dreary day and had to deal with it. I trekked up to level 2, opened the level 2 doors, searched through the spare key cabinet, went down but the keys didnt work, cos they were to the right panel, which I already have.

Called her mobile at least 5 times before she picked up. Informed her of the problem (which she had caused, mind you), and her first words were "oh shit" no apologies, then she helpfully asked me if I would like to try to use a padlock and chain, as if she was trying to solve my problem, instead of me helping her to rectify her mistake. I took it the pad lock and from level 2, locked the doors, went down and my phone ringed. "oh, I didn't take my keys, they are on my desk (at level 2 obviously).

Tired and hungry, I went up, unlocked the doors, took her keys, returned the pad lock and chain, locked the doors and went down again. Locked the level 1 main doors and left, almost half an hour later when I first tried to leave.

No apology in any of the phone conversations, and obviously no thanks for saving her ass.

She is very good with PR stuff like getting birthday cakes and stuff, but these fluff fun and laughter cannot make up for a lack of basic manners.

Or maybe i'm just old fashion.

hello~?

2011-08-17T12:02:00.003+08:00

It just occurred to me that since Baby V and a recent family crisis re health of an elderly member, I haven't gone out, like to shop or dinner with friends.

Other than for work, or family occasions, I literally havent spoken to anybody for months.

I wonder how many friends have since moved on.

I need to talk to somebody.

Is anybody there?

Pick up

2011-08-12T19:37:00.002+08:00

Was having a conversation with some random sales lady on the phone, who tried to sell me some marketing services for my company.

I was having a good day and decided to explain nicely why it didnt work.

At the end of it, she asked me for my mobile to "keep in touch, go for a drink or shopping"

... ... ...

I declined nicely.

She was undeterred, and rattled on about how I sounded like her age (22) and fun... blah blah blah, hang out, blah blah blah...

... ... ...

Was that a pick up?

From a GIRL?

Most importantly, should i be flattered?

Time goes awasting!

2011-08-11T17:19:00.003+08:00

A very long time ago, the main time waster in the office used to be flash games or chat rooms, and ircs

Then came along forums, especially SPUG.

Then blogs

Then internet shopping

Right now it is a combination of share tracking, blog sites and some shopping.

Belonging to that generation who believes that there is such a thing as TMI* I have a problem with self-censorship and therefore have never really quite catch on to FaceBook, and thankfully not the games as well. (Google+ is more my cup of tea but nobody is on it...)

The progression seems to be a decrease in interaction, and that is scary.

The upside is that I have more useless/ or useful-but-unlikely-to-use information then before, is more up-to-date with news that doesnt concern me, and keeping with trends of things I am unlikely to buy or use.

Having said that, if you have time to kill and want to check out where you can spend them, these are places I go:

Lifehacker for useful (YMMV)** information for techies and general living
Jezebel for interesting news and opinions with a feminist slant
Get Rich Slowly Personal Finance and Investment Advice
Quirky where people invent/ influence stuff and make $ if the things get sold
ASOS for trendy clothes with free international shipping

There is a dearth of good sites, tell me where do you go?

* Too Much Information
** Your Mileage May Vary

Kids talk

2011-08-10T17:20:00.002+08:00

Even at 9, Kiddie E is still mixing up her vocab.

"I don't feel and I don't have an appetite. I don't know why I'm being such a fuzzy eater..."

:)

Suffocated

2011-08-10T17:10:00.002+08:00

The green spaces around SengKang is no more. All are either built-up, in process of being built-up or land parcel being sold.

The crowd is unbearable. There is no space to park a car, and the squeeze on the LRT and MRT is incredible. Every shop and food stall is full house, so you will either have to eat dinner at 6pm or 830pm.

Even the malls are being built-up.

I feel suffocated.

It will only get worst.

142

2011-05-10T20:09:00.003+08:00

142. i wonder why they put 180 then?

i should really calm down tho...

Stronger

2011-04-05T14:58:00.002+08:00

I dont do this often, posting songs, that is.

But this spoke to me today, and somehow i feel i need to share it.

To friends near and far, whom i have not met for such a long time.

You are in my thoughts.

Things will get better.

Music with love

2011-03-18T18:51:00.005+08:00

The sexual content over the radio in the car is just too much for my girls even if they dont get it and havent started asking questions...

Unfortunately normal kiddie songs are over-optimistic and doesnt sit well with my psyche as I drive... instead of making me happy as well, I just grit my teeth...

So I've started making my own mix tapes (the ultimate expression of love if you are from my era) or in the modern name : playlists

The mission is 2-fold:
1. For the girls to stay as kids for as long as they can, but on top of that, to grow up to be confident, resilient and happy girls who are open to different experiences.

2. To introduce them to a huge variety of songs from different genre (broadway, rock, inspirational, pop, the inevitable-disney, big band, and classics) but with a bias towards positivity.

The first playlist I've made in Apr 10 looked like this:

- I'd like to teach the world to sing to keep them in familiar kids territory and i really love that old coke commercial

- Over the rainbow sweet little song that Kiddie E learned to play on the piano

- By the light of the silvery moon nice show tune

- Stand by me BEN E KING and the film "Stand by me" adopted from a story by Steven King, scary and uplifting at the same time. Great film, you've gotta watch it.

- Rainbow connection Kermit the Frog's version about wonders and wondering

- Tomorrow (from Annie) things may be bleak and wary, but it might get better... tomorrow! Just because it will be a brand new day.

- I have a dream ABBA" i have a dream, a song to sing, to help me cope with anything"

- Beauty and the beast I have to throw something from Disney...

- Mmmbop What fun right? :)

- One step at a time Jordan Sparks. Baby steps might take forever, but at least you're moving!

- Baby Justin Bieber before my kids fall asleep or start protesting against the over preaching...

- The time of my life David Cook and soft rock for me to compensate for the song just prior

- Life is a roller coaster Yup, thats life

- There she goes cute whimsical for a change of pace

- Love story Tyler swift, cant get away from her, but she's pretty... and there's mention of princess and stuff in the song

- I hope you dance What i really want for the girls

- If we hold on together Another Disney song

- You raise me up Josh Groban inspirational

- Ave Maria Celine Dion beautiful spiritual

CNY Spring Cleaning

2011-02-02T14:02:00.004+08:00

When I was a kid, CNY was mostly about the food, new clothes (which I usually hated cos my mom insisted on buying me mad sissy lacy polyester dresses) and $$$!

The other stuff like house-cleaning and visiting were kinda like chores.

But as I grew older, I'm appreciating at least 1 facet of the CNY traditions and the wisdom behind them.

The chief amongst all is the spring cleaning. Imagine you are from the olden times, in a farming family where from day break to night fall, you are taking care of your farm and animals. It is extremely easy to let things fall by the wayside when your main concern is survival, especially in winter when every darn thing is just too cold. I know, I was in Lijiang in early winter and I hated that everything I touched was cold and needed my body warmth to heat it up. ()#&$)(&!

So Spring Cleaning acts as an imperative to bring change, to clean up and to get rid of the broken and old (and ugly), on the literal sense, the physical things. But significantly, a time for reflection and bring that spring cleaning to oneself, either physically, mentally or spiritually.

It still holds true today, especially now when there is wide availability of any and everything. So much abundance of all that you've ever wanted, and lots of what you've never needed or will ever use.

I've taken the opportunity to tackle areas that I had neglected. The clothes that the kids had outgrown, books that I'll never read again, the old stuff that I still have from eons ago holding memories.

All going and going to:

Books --> public library donation box at entrance, donation to 3rd world country schools
Electronic, Children Toys, Clothes --> SgFreeCycle
All others --> Garang Guni men
the Balance --> Recycle bins/ Trash

It will be a year of self-reflection and hopefully lightness as all the clutter and junk are cleared away little by little.

Getting OLD liao

2011-01-26T19:26:00.004+08:00

Gotten a bit of a infection from the China trip where the air was cold and dry, plus dirty in Chengdu. Was coughing non-stop, with bloody mucus and dry throat.

Didnt manage to see a doctor due to non-stop work-related travel and business meetings in Singapore where I was required to baby-sit our guests from breakfast to dinner for almost a week, not to mention churning reports till I nearly went blind.

It was no surprised that I was given lots of medication, but the one that threw me off was an inhaler and the friendly advice to carry it always... "JUST in case, especially when you are traveling".

I thought I had thrown off the child asthma since graduating from primary school, not that it had slowed me down in anyway then. I was in the badminton school team, a librarian, a prefect and sang in the choir, and represented my class in every darn sport event. I was one of those cool kids where the little girls had crushes on me (it was a unisex girls school).

But something about the inhaler conjures up the typical image of a nerdy kid nervously sucking on his inhaler while bullies taunt him. So some how I've always avoided using that in public as a young girl.

Not that I am now conjuring up images of a dying elderly sucking on the inhaler while clawing at his chest, but I suspect that I will still be avoiding the use of an inhaler in public.

The dilemma now is do I bring it along in my carry-on luggage, and will I have to bring it when I go for swims and runs?

ARGH...

Buy Buy Buy!

2011-01-05T17:50:00.003+08:00

I am a notoriously hard person to get presents for.

Not much into bags, shoes, clothes, jewelry, diamonds or fragrance. Once you take those out, there ain't much that one can get a girl.

Things I'm in, like gadgets, books, miscellaneous knick-knacks I am factitious with the functions/ style/ color/ make.

TOUGH.

I do appreciate a good thought tho, but those are usually short in coming :P

E usually gives up early, and pounces on the chance to pay for my shopping or air tickets instead of trying and failing to buy something, or worst, trying and buying something that begets a huh? or meh? sorry dear. I really dont mean to.

I dont really blame him, he himself is a man of simple wants and shops little except when in dire need. Most of his gorgeous stuff are from me :) but his best choice was in marrying me :D

Anyways, this year, he's given up totally after failing to entice me with thoughts of full carat jewelry or an iPad.

He's just given me a budget.

I'm lusting but undecided after the following:
- iPad
- iPod nano or touch
- Kindle
- Kinect (with Dance Central!)
- ....... suggestions welcome!
but even if I choose 1 or 2, there will still be some remaining...

I think I'm going to buy 2 lots of blue chip :)

Christmas, that was not

2010-12-27T22:46:00.000+08:00

With friends away and family busy, we only had a Christmas gathering for a much smaller group of people on boxing day.

Too darn busy with work to properly shop for presents, only managed to grab stuff at airport shops. Even gave them without wrapping to the girls... O the shame... Bad mom!

Didnt get anything for E too, but sometimes valuable advice is worth more. Like tax planning advice to the tune of $1.5k saved in taxes...

AND i didnt get anything from E for Christmas too... DUH.

New Vocab

2010-11-12T17:40:00.003+08:00

From Kiddie E, who has just been informed that she has topped the class in Math and will be receiving a certificate on her school's honor day next week :)

GOSSPERING : "Gossiping about other people, but in a whisper"

LOL

Numb

2010-11-12T17:24:00.002+08:00

It has been a challenging 2 months on the work front.

An accounts assistant with almost 3 years left. He was smart and quick, but I couldnt keep him. But little did I know that this was the opening of flood gates of the great exodus.

A group accountant with 14 years in the company left with just 1 month's notice.

A senior secretary with 12 years left 2 weeks after.

I sacked a sales administrator who took too many unscheduled leave and MC and too many smoking breaks.

Managed to find a new sales administrator quite quickly, but she was a no-show on the start date, and acute appendicitis c/w operation was the reason. Pleaded with us to keep the position open for her, only to be again a no-show on the new start date, 2 weeks later. ARGH!

Interviewed these 4 positions till I almost could not bring myself to shake another hand and ask about another's job experience. Not counting those who made appointment and did not show up, or had found positions before showing up for the first position, I must have seen at least 30+ people.

Some you know to be unsuitable the moment they offer you a limp handshake and needed you to repeated the question, preferably in simpler English.

The others you think have potential, but HOW MUCH potential to be trained before they leave?

Then the others who are perfect but asking for the moon and star and that red car for the remuneration package.

Between balancing the needs of the company, the budget I have to work with, the experience and character of the candidate, I finally did find an account assistant and a sales administrator who have started, a junior secretary (for me, not to replace the senior secretary) starting next week, and an accountant to start 1 Jan.

The pieces are now all laid out.

I could finally get back to my work, while shouldering some of the accountant's work and some functions that the senior secretary had taken on. i.e. 2.5 jobs on my 1 salary.

I am going to have to step up and work beyond my capacity for a while. But I am getting numb.

Hopefully my secretary will turn out as smart as I believe her to be, and save me from burning out too quickly.

Not today

2010-10-26T16:44:00.002+08:00

Just something I've picked up on the web today.

" I can only please one person a day.

Today is not your day.

Tomorrow isn't looking too good either. "

Kids Talk

2010-10-05T14:09:00.002+08:00

Kiddie J has started reading and is using her new vocab.

The latest:

"Why are you so hot? Do you need the fan?"

"Yeah, I am so hot that I am aspiring!"

giggles.

Blogging

2010-10-05T13:53:00.002+08:00

Has been a couple of months since I last blogged.

To think that I used to post something at least once a month unfailingly since June 2005 till April 2010... a period of almost 5 years, with nary an adsense or pop up revenue.

I've not lost the motivation to share my thoughts, but they have turned dark and I am still working them out.

It first started with the small things, a Taiwan trip that I had enjoyed (but not as much as I thought I would have, especially the food), my car's wing mirror being torn off by a (i suspect) a reckless motorcyclist who squeezed by my parked car and another car too closely without leaving a note and costing me $260 and untold inconveniences, communication troubles in the home, stresses from kids schooling and education, housework, work etc.

All of these incidents used to provide much fodder for my blog, even better if I can find some humor or irony in them, which I think makes you (about 4 of my readers) chuckle a little. :)

But then, slowly I found little humor in such things as they started weighing on me. I could have shared them but I couldnt find the words, not without scaring the people who read them, or myself.

Even regularly driving 20km/h above the speed limits on almost every road, and once pushing 137km/h doesnt faze me much now a days, except when I spy a mata and I couldnt slow down fast enough without drawing attention.

But having to quieten down and sort out my thoughts scares me. I was unwilling, unable to take a break, always trying to juggle more balls and doing even more to make things better.

Things didnt come a head and crashed on me, though Baby V did fell off the bed accidentally and that triggered an argument between E & I.

After which I couldnt take it anymore and shared with him some of my struggles (leaving any mention of speed and the worst bits) in a letter to him. He has started trying harder and doing more. Although that helps only a little in actuality, but the effects of him even trying is that he has calmed me down somewhat and gives me courage to go on.

Bear with me, my friend. I will be back.

I promise.

Internet Shopping

2010-07-09T15:54:00.004+08:00

I've been purchasing stuff from all over the internet since way back when...

It started off with mostly electronic gadgets, the first being a roomba vacuum cleaner maybe 8 years ago and then subsequently various palm accessories.

Then I moved on to sports accessories, like running shorts, caps, and camelbak water pouches.

I mean these are stuff that I want and need and cant get from shopping in Singapore, so why not?

But I had resisted buying clothes off blogshops for the longest time possible, because I would really really like to try stuff on for fit before buying. The selection then were not much to look at too...

And then THREE kids happened, and I no longer have the luxury of shopping for clothes. I can grab something during lunch time, but that's not really shopping and I'm stuck with doing that in where ever I'm having lunch...

So I tiptoe into the blogshops and managed a few successful purchases from the local ones, though there were 1 or 2 pieces which didnt work out that well, but they were not total losses, and I am now blog-shopping with a vengence!

Clothes, bags etc etc

The latest shop that I'm going to try is Versuaz Store operating from a warehouse in China. The site seems legit and there are quite many followers on FB and some positive reviews on the web.

The clothes come in 1 size with details of length and material etc and some color choices, all modeled by professionally made-up cutesy girls who are too thin to be real people. But if you can get pass that, the clothes are amazingly cheap and I can see many carts hawking clothes from them.

The only catch is there is a minimum purchase of 5 pcs, but no minimum value; and shipping is not that cheap at US$22 for 5 pcs to Singapore but it gets cheaper with each subsequent 5 pieces.

I'm going to take the plunge if I can get a discount code, and will post a review of the goods (or a cheap sale if they dont fit me...) ;)

Kids Talk

2010-07-07T19:31:00.003+08:00

Latest observation from Kiddie J (who is 5 going to 6, and going P1 next year! oh how time flies)

"Mommy, what's a MayBank ?"

"It is a bank, just like OCBC."

"Oh, but cannot go there already"

"We can, but we dont have accounts with them."

"No, cannot go there ANYMORE!"

"We cant?"

"Noooo, it is already JUNE!"

the trouble with procastination

2010-07-07T18:58:00.003+08:00

The trouble with procastination is that the longer you procastinate, the harder it will be to get back into whatever you were doing...

And so while I cant believe that it is almost 3 months since my last post, i mean I have consistently blogged at least a post every month since i first started...!

Yet i sort of understand how it got to this point...
mostly because i made 3 trips out,
---> 1 whirlwind trip to BKK for work with lots of prep work and then lots to follow up on
---> 1 holiday to Taipei, my first holiday since marriage that is without hubby and/or kids
---> 1 family holiday to ClubMed Bintan with the kids
and I broke my routine

And by the time I got back, I have lots of work to catch on, AND it seems i have too much stuff to blog about... and so i procastinated... and it is now almost 3 months later...

my bad.

and

I confess:

while most pp procastinate by putting off what they should do now till later...

I

my bad.

Forward mail is not communication

2010-04-14T19:37:00.003+08:00

One should understand and remember that forwarding jokes / dubious email advice, medical or otherwise, is not communication, even if it was forwarded with the best of intentions (but then I'm a firm believer that the road to hell is paved with good intentions).

I am not sure which is sadder:

- when such email are caught by the spam filter and sent straight to spam folder such that I don't even bother to read them and click "not spam", or

- that this is 95% of communication that I've received from you?

Sigh~*

Good English

2010-04-12T17:33:00.002+08:00

The girls were ranking the most poisonous animals in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD (dont ask me why and how) and this conversation came up:

Kiddie J:"The second goodest is the King Cobra!"
(She currently ends every sentence with an exclamation mark, except for questions which will end with a question mark AND an exclamation mark)

Kiddie E:"NOOOOO.... you cannot say goodest!"
(Unlike Kiddie J, Kiddie E only uses exclamation marks when correcting her younger sister's mistakes.)

"You should say 'The second BETTER!' "

HAHAHAHA.

A Sigh of Relief

2010-04-12T17:25:00.003+08:00

Ahhhhh...

Practically non-stop working days and nights and twilights over the last one and half months due to multiple clashing deadlines.

- Year end reportings
- Tax issues
- Board Meetings
- International Sales Conference of which I am host and organiser

Finally, all done (well, I'm still owing the meeting minutes for the Board Meetings and some actions to be taken for the Sales Conference) but all the guests are finally home and I can breathe easier now.

Thank you to all the friends who checked up on me when they noticed that I was still on MSN way after bedtime and that usually meant that I am still in the office at some ungodly hour.

I am back!

130

2010-03-01T19:14:00.003+08:00

I actually went to 130km/h today driving to work...

I thought I was already pushing it when I used to travel at 110 to 120, trying not to tailgate anybody going lower than 105.

But the March going at 130 today was actually still relatively stable.

That only begets one point: I really should NOT buy a more powerful car if stability is the only thing stopping me from going faster...

Though I really really really hate people "targeting" to change lane in front of me based on the flawed bias that a March is more easy to overtake. NOT.

Ok, something more powerful looking and still small, maybe a swift or jazz then...

The John Edwards Saga

2010-02-03T17:56:00.007+08:00

Or "How to Hurt Somebody Even More By Doing It Slowly and Repeatedly on a Stronger Degree Each Time"

Or "What not to do when trying to damage control"

Or "Lie Lie Lie: How not to confess"

............................................

So he cheated.

When his wife was battling breast cancer.

He confessed.

But only because he can no longer credibly deny or evade the issue.

He first told her that it was a one-night stand.

It must have Hurt.

Then it was a few times over a short period. He didn't love that woman. That it was over.

More Hurting, just when the initial hurts are beginning to feel less painful.

She stood by him.

Then it was a full-blown affair, and though wasn't really over "then", but it is really over "now".

Even more Hurting, twice betrayed just when trusts were being rebuilt on thin ice.

Chillingly, he even had the cheek to say that he didnt cheat when she was battling cancer, she was in "remission" as if that in some way made it "better".

Then that woman had a baby. A fall guy was appointed, and lies fabricated.

It wasn't his. The timing wasn't possible. Really unless you found some way to prove that it is that he couldnt deny.

They did.

He had to admit it was his.

The betrayed wife finally broke when the hurt and humiliation was too much to bear. How can she even stand to be in the same bed, room, house, country with him?

A separation. And she should have done so much much much earlier and saved herself from the multiple betrayals and public humiliation, each cutting deeper into the exact places where the earlier cuts went. Instead of believing him still the man she had first met and fell in love with; being the man she thought he was; or even being the mirage of the man he never really was.

With this, a cutting off and hope. The hope that there will be no fear of more hurt and humiliation to be borne.

I wish her Resilience especially in the face of accusations that she was in fact human and real.

p.s.
On the book Resilience: It was a darn good read if you have obstacles in your path or even in you, and you ~~want to~~ ~~need to~~ ~~have to~~ some how have to continue.

Money on the ground is no windfall

2010-01-29T20:05:00.003+08:00

One of the cornerstones of values that I want to impart to my kids is to not covet another's belongings.

They can strive to have/ get more and better things by working/ saving for it. But they should never take into possession things that belong to another whether by scheming/ begging/ whatever. I feel that this instill self-worth and confidence, and helps to prevent materialism and the inevitable comparisons with peers on who has what and who has it bigger/ better/ more.

I cant remember how it came to pass, but one of those things we now do is when we pick up stray coins on the road, we do not put them into the piggy bank. We keep them until we pass a donation box whether SPCA/ comchest at the supermarket or a flag day and put that coin in. Because it does not belong to us.

Well, E chance upon a whole SGD5 note when he was on the way home with the kids last night.

The kids promptly relieved him of the ~~windfall~~ burden and came back to pass the S$5 to me for safe-keeping until we pass the next donation box.

I think we did something right there. :)

No FUN

2010-01-29T19:55:00.002+08:00

It started with a dry throat then a sore throat.

I paid it no heed since it was the weekend and the schedule was jam-packed with kids activities and family time.

By Sunday evening, I was coughing and lost my voice. And tearing with yellow mucus from my eyes

Went to the doctor on Monday and was given MC for common flu and viral conjuntivitis (or sore eyes).

Eyes did get better although very slowly, but the cough developed into major hacking coughs was spitting out mucous with blood in them... The cough syrup didnt do anything, and I woke up every 30min-2 hours in fits of coughing.

Went back to the doc on Wednesday morning. And this time he grudgingly decided that although I didnt have fever I "could have developed" an infection and was given a course of 7 days worth of antibiotics, stronger cough syrup and ventolin to open up the airways. 3 more days of MC for viral bronchitis.

Thank goodness I managed to convince my boss that I was in no condition to travel, since I was already coughing so much that not only my throat was raw, my abs hurt. I can't imagine breathing airplane air and going throw unenlightened customs who are still in mortal fear of H1N1.

It is now Friday, and I still havent slept for more than 2 hours at a stretch.

AND i did have to come back to office...

NO FUN.

POUT POUT POUT.

A good day

2010-01-16T01:06:00.003+08:00

I had 3 things to accomplish today:

- Get a new sim card from m1.
My old one is having contact issues, causing no sim card errors and difficulty in signing on to 3g. This necessitates the process of removing the hero's back cover, battery and sim card, rubbing the sim card and then replacing sim card, battery and back cover, restarting hero and hoping I don't have to do it all over again immediately.

Went to m1 and there was only 1 person in the q who was browsing at brochures of price plans. She quickly made way when I inched closer and closer. Explained to the counter staff, he took down the details, consulted with his manager and viola- a new sim card at no charge! Nice.

- Exchange contact lens.
I had thought that I was getting clumsy and had dropped the lens when I didn't find a lens in the 1st bubble pack. Then I thought that I tore the next 1 when there was a small cut in the lens from the 2nd pack. Then there was nothing in the 3rd. I really am not and can't be THAT clumsy (unless I was drunk, and maybe not even then).

I examined the rest of the 2 remaining unopened bubble pack. 1 was EMPTY! Wah lao eh.

Went back to the shop, showed them the unopened but empty pack and they gave me a new strip of lenses, no further explanations necessary. Yay!

- Buy something from Watson's
The challenge being I had no idea what was the brand or packaging, having only seen it being used by somebody who could only tell where she got it.

So there I was, staring at the multitude of products and a sales staff came by to help. And she found it! With a smile! Cool.

Then I managed to pick up some other stuff from another shop where the staff helped me to carry to my car. She volunteered without me whining, looking pathetic or asking for help. It wasn't even an extraordinary or expensive purchase, just over $100 of several bulky stuff. Great service. All the more appreciated since it was unexpected.

The day ended with me finishing a project faster and with less pain then expected.

If only every day could be like this.

Gasp! I hope I haven't used up my quota of good service this year...

(Posted using hero)

Miffed

2009-12-29T14:29:00.002+08:00

E is clearing his leave and spent most of it on golf day trips.

So he was ~~lazing~~ hanging around at home and surveying his ~~kingdom~~ surroundings and said "I have an idea. Let's clean up the house!"

"and what do you think I have been doing EVERYDAY?"

Men.

Wagyu Sashimi and Fugu

2009-12-29T12:23:00.005+08:00

It was our 12th wedding anniversary, and we went to have a meal. We wanted something special and this flyer came along...

Fugu! That puffer fish that is extremely hazardous to health if prepared incorrectly...

I did have some reservations with Honjin 7, since the forums have mostly vilified the food, the service and the price. But my previous visit was fine.

And so off to Honjin 7 we went, though on hind side (on the motivation, not that either of us came to any harm) I hope we didnt have a death wish on celebrating our wedding anniversary...

We had ordered only 1 fugu set to share so that we can try the rest of the stuff and ordered:
- fresh oysters on ponsu sauce
- fish liver
- cod fish sperm
- (some seasonal) fish in 2 ways : sashimi and grill
- hot sake

The sake came first in bottle sitting a hot water bath in a small sake barrel. We selected a sake cup each from a tray and we toasted each other. This dinner is shaping up well.

The appetizers came next. No complains. The oysters were huge :)

Then the first of the fugu set. Fugu sashimi. We asked the manager (lead waitress) if it were safe to eat and if anybody had any "problem" (we werent going to ask if they had any "deaths" now, were we?). She laughed heartily and said Singapore is so safe so dont worry (that didnt answer my question). Turned out the fugu was prepared in Japan and sent to Singapore, so I didnt have to worry about some unqualified chef preparing this in the back kitchen.

It was pretty, translucent pieces laid out like a chrysanthemum though we didnt taste anything special about it. It was almost tasteless. But when dipped into the ponshu sauce, a hint of sweetness and flora. Nice. Guess it will be better if eaten fresh in Japan.

The next was the seasonal fish. Blah. Same for the grill. Thank goodness it was "seasonal" and not on the regular menu...

The piece de resistance was the wagyu sashimi. Not the bluff type served at other places where it was seared at the sides. No fire or heat or any kind has touched this sashmi. Seriously WOW. I will go back just for this alone. $25 for 5 good size pieces (promo price). It was sweet butter melt in the mouth. I cannot believe it is MEAT. No fibre, no stringy bits, almost no chewing required. WOW x 100. I gotta go back before the promo ends, and order the large 8-10 pieces portion. E played true to his loving hubby role and gave me, the gluttony wife, the 5th piece.

Next up, fugu bits, the innards (no liver) and skin. Weird but strangely addictive, could be the poison.
Fugu soup in paper pot. Good.
Fugu porridge. Very Good

To round off, we were given 1 scoop of ice-cream each. He had green tea and I had yuzhu. WOW x 20. Can somebody tell me where to get some? The manageress says they imported theirs directly from Japan.

The service was efficient and homely, even from the pouty waitress. Our tea cups were never empty. Dishes were served quickly and cleared just as quickly, even changed. I dont understand the bad reviews, especially 1 that complained that the toilets were at opposite ends of the building, get with it, the restaurant is sited in a pre-war building. DUH.

Gotta go back soon. And I'm not going to correct the forumers, but now you know.

10% discount if you have are an NUSS member.

The passing of an era

2009-12-16T15:41:00.002+08:00

Rest in Peace
Ohtaka-san

Lucky

2009-12-08T14:38:00.002+08:00

I have been posting quite little over the last several months due to braindeadness and chronic fatigue. Not to mention the fact that mommy / baby antics and such may not be much of a fun read for most people.

So it really isn't surprising that the return rate and hit rate for my blog has gone down to new lows (not that I was "really" counting) and for the 5 2 of you who are still reading my blog, this is for you. :)

I have started the blog Jun 2006 as an exercise on writing and keeping certain memories alive/ or a platform to speak about things close to my heart (to an empty arena not unlike Hong Lim Park).

The blog address was never listed it anywhere or mentioned it on my network/ forum profiles. I had only shared it with the closest and dearest of friends, and exchanged with a couple other friends/ bloggers.

As such, that I am being read and some of you keep coming back is a blessing. I am constantly surprised by the number of hits I get. The comments I received is cherry on a chocolate cake.

I am therefore LUCKY.

And I thank YOU .

.
.
.
end of touchy-feeling part of post.

So it annoyed me to no end that one blogger/ entrepreneur recently lamented that the business is doing so well that she has no time or inclination to blog, and a reader will therefore indeed be "lucky" to come by the blog to find that a new post had been put up....

DUH.

I promptly deleted my bookmark for that blog.

That type of lucky I dont need!

BMI

2009-11-20T13:26:00.012+08:00

E has been very health conscious and even checking up on me from time to time.

So I was unperturbed when he asked for my current height and weight, which I knew he must be checking my BMI again.

calculate bmi

Out with a result of 21.

Based on the guidelines of Singapore Health Promotion Board for adults:

BMI (kg/m2) for Adults	Health Risk
27.5 and above	High Risk
23 – 27.4	Moderate Risk
18.5 – 22.9	Low Risk (healthy range)
Below 18.5	Risk of nutritional deficiency diseases and osteoporosis

"Whoa! Very good leh!"

"Ehm, yeah, ok...."
"What do you mean VERY GOOD LEH"
"What were you expecting" as I crooked an eyebrow.

"Er, em, you know, you've just given birth and so, ah, good lor." as he pretended to be busy with something.

"Hmmm..."

I wonder if this is supposed to be a complement or he was seeing me no up...

Unitasking

2009-11-13T17:15:00.002+08:00

The lack of post has been obvious and the reason equally so, thus nothing to add there. (that's about as much of an apology that any one's gonna get! :-p )

The current sad state of affairs plus the fact that I dont seem to possess the required sustained brain juice and any meaningful pockets of time required to do anything had me thinking...

Multi-tasking is NOT working.

I mean, I used to be able to have a number of mostly unrelated things going on simultaneously during any work hour:
- Working on at least 1 reports on my pc
- have ideas constructed/ organised in my head for at least another 1-2 reports
- 1 or 2 or 3 msn conversations
- an eye on the stock market
- music streaming
- an eye checking if anybody's approaching my desk (hehe)
- planning what to have for lunch
- sipping coffee/ tea

But now I just dont seem to be able to call up the processing power to do all these at the same time anymore.

Is it a case of diminished brain power through lack of sleep or dead brain cells?

Or is it simply because Multi-tasking is no longer worth it?

Ok, fine, multitasking is a misnomer. Because a person is unable to do several things that require similar cognitive power, he is simply switching from one task to another, while losing miliseconds for the connections to rewire everytime he switches. Imagine a task like counting beans, even if you are organised and have your beans painstakingly separated by 10s, 100s, and 1000s; everytime you have your attention diverted, you will need to reassess how many you've counted/ organised (nearest 10s/ 100s/1000s)before you can continue again.

Is the task switching thus counter-productive?
Is it possible for a person to be a uni-tasker?

I know there are those who say they see meaning of multitasking in the first place for those whom I've had this conversation with... you know who you are

But imagine:
- Driving without the radio on, and handphones off. You are driving.
- Talking on the phone, and stopping where you are. You are talking.
- Having a meal and not talking to your companion. You are eating.
etc etc

Not multitasking in these circumstances is just weird, because they are so ingrained in us.

Unfortunately, the discussion is moot for me.

I am just plain exhausted, uni or multi tasking.

crushed

2009-09-05T16:36:00.003+08:00

a long hard cry

on hind sight, i guess it was long overdue

partly triggered or rather the straw that broke the camel's back came last night when I visited Baby V. Where I realised that after 5 weeks, her discharge is not going to be as soon as I had foolishly expected...

I had thought based on past experience that a premie baby would be discharged by the time she hits 2kg. Unfortunately in the euphoria of her recent good weight gains, I had forgotten/ neglected to factor in the requirement for her to learn to bottle feed well before being allowed to discharge.

It should have been a simple DUH moment... but

Add that to my recent witnessing of another (much bigger) baby gagging and coughing and crying when a nurse installed a new feeding tube, and my realisation that Baby V will have to have her next feeding tube through her nose (instead of mouth currently) so that her mouth will be free when suckling.

THEN i understood that another baby born on the same day as Baby V who started at a lower birth weight of 1.2kg+ (vs her 1.35kg) is now 2.2kg (vs her 1.8kg)... probably because his parents carried him unfailingly everyday for an hour and his mom had so much milk that the nurses told her not bring any more to the hospital...

and the walls came crashing down.

That it is not going to end soon, the isolation and loneliness of being tethered to a pump at home 24/7, the resentment of my life suspended in animation vs E being free to pursue his tri dreams where so much time is spent in training over 5-6 days in a week, pity for my elder kids, anger over my inability to carry Baby V to full term ... ... ... mixing extreme sustained fatigue over 5 weeks (s0 far and counting) with all the anger, resentment, pity, hurt... everything just came rushing through and buried me...

argh.

a long. hard. cry.

the first where i learned that a cry does not only make your eyes puffy and nose blocked, but your EARS blocked too...

well, like i said, long in coming and while it is the first I suspect will not be the last.

sigh.

hopefully the next one will not block my ears

Baby V - weight

2009-09-03T22:31:00.002+08:00

Baby V was born weighing 1350gm, and shrink (they say it is normal) to 1130gm at the lowest in the week after birth.

Since then, she has been gaining weight (mostly) steadily between 4gm (a Singapore 20 cents coin weighs 4.5gm) and 45gm (a 4-finger bar of kit kat) a day... with an average of about 20-ish gm a day so far.

It seems so little and insignificant, but every gram counts. 1800gm until she is able to be taken off the feeding tube to be bottle fed (below that, sucking may consume more energy than what she is able to take by mouth) and 2000gm to being discharged.

She is 1762 today. Just 238gm to coming home...

fra.g.ment.ed

2009-08-31T23:03:00.000+08:00

Life at home is fragmented, revolving around the milk-expressing schedule which is once every 3 hours.

That means that 24 hours a day is divided into 8 periods of 3 hours each.

For every period, at least 1 hour is devoted to milk-expression. Less than 2 hours is then used for sleeping, eating, shower, housework, checking email/ work, washing/ sanitizing milk-expression pumps and bottles, monitoring stock market, watching some TV, racing through a few pages of newspaper/ book, tending to my 2 elder kids etc, what ever the priority of the time is.

That means that the most sleep per session I get is less than 2 hours a time, and most days i get no more than 6-7 hours in 3-4 sessions.

yawn~*

chillis & sauages

2009-08-26T22:56:00.001+08:00

Baby V had moved from NICU to Special Care Nursery (SCN) when she no longer needed oxygen supplement via CPAP.

She's looking much better, having slowly been filling out over the last few weeks.

Her fingers no longer looks like wrinkled dried chillis, and looks like fresh chilli now.

When they look like plump little sausages, she'll be ready to come home... :)

Relativity

2009-08-16T22:49:00.001+08:00

I visited Baby V for the first time since my discharge from KK.

Her weight then was 1160 gm, having shrunk after delivery, per normal expectations.

Her fingers were so long... then it hit me that it was because she was so skinny that she doesn't have the chubby fingers of other new borns

Her eyes were huge... and it hit me again that it was because her face was too thin.

Even though I had long comforted myself that Baby V is in a much better position than other smaller babies, it still hurts to see her so small compared to full-term babies...

I had to lean into E as tears flooded my eyes...

Broken

2009-08-12T20:18:00.001+08:00

After days of being optimistic and hopeful and putting on a brave face, I was finally broken.

All from a simple work-related call while home.

It started innocuously with the MD of a principal calling asking for an update re a subsidiary's activity report, but he made the fatal mistake of asking if I was at work first...

I was not. I'm on maternity leave. Then I tried to deflect it and asked about his recent holiday.

BUT he continued to asked about me and my baby, and I broke down.

I went quiet and later unsuccessfully muffling my quiet (I hope) sobs I told him that the baby was born very premature and was in NICU...

Somehow, having to verbalize the situation made it much more "Real" and it showed up starker as opposed to texting it or blogging about it, especially to a non-related party outside of immediate family and close friends.

To his credit, he was very kind (I think he had a soft spot for me for my work with him) and took it all in without ~~being~~ showing that he was too mortified by this sudden turn in conversations, in fact sharing with me that his daughter was born prematurely too, spent 2 weeks in NICU and is now 3 years old without any ill effects.

We ended the conversation on a more professional note, after I had regained my composure and giving him a verbal report of the progress of the subsidiary's activities and further action plan.

And he thought he was just going to get that report... poor chap

Baby V @ NICU and PFS

2009-08-09T18:45:00.002+08:00

Was only able to see Baby V the 2nd day after delivery as I was still unsteady on my feet (from blood loss during labour... TMI? ermmm... that's reality for ya!) and deemed unable to make my way by myself to NICU. Was wheeled there by E when he visited in the afternoon.

It was tough to see Baby V so heavily hooked up to various machinery:
- 1 sensor taped to her left foot to monitor O2 level,
- 2 sensors taped to her chest to monitor her heart rate and respiratory rates,
- 1 tap into her impossibly tiny veins on her left hand for a main line to deliver nutrients and liquid intravenously,
- 2 velcro patches on her cheeks to fix a two-prong air tube into her nostrils (which are kinda squashed since the air tubes are too big for her) and
- a feeding tube from her mouth to her stomach for milk...

She was housed in an incubator which kept her warm and toasty, and which allowed access only through pot holes for us to insert a cautious (washed, scrubbed and sanitised) finger to touch her fragile skin.

She is just so small that even the new born sized diaper had to be folded into half before it could fit her...

But even as my heart aches thus, I could not get away from noticing the other babies in the same cubicle as Baby V. Some were just 700+ gm when born, and the smallest was only 675gm... Baby V, while small, is exactly TWICE that of this baby... oh poor things.

E who had already made a tour of the cubicle duly informed me that Baby V was the heaviest of all babies there. But I spied a baby at the corner with a birth weight of 1410gm and told him so.

E's PFS* kicked in and dismissively said, "oh yah, but Baby V is TALLER, that baby is only 39cm tall but Baby V is 41cm long."

cute.

*PFS = Proud Father Syndrome

Baby V - birth

2009-08-07T17:47:00.006+08:00

And I thought it was another routine couple of days' stay at the hospital to stop the bleeding and I could go home / back to work after that. 24hrs later but 73 days early, Baby V was born.

It was a stressful couple days preparing the big audit by our HQ, and I've worked hard staying late most of the week before. Right after the 2 day presentation and meeting, all were satisfied and we went for dinner.

I drove home after dinner and rested. But I noticed some blood clots and immediately got E to send to me my gynae's hospital (un-named due to possible repercussions). On the way there, I felt cramps and thought this MUST be false contractions, I am WAY TOO EARLY to be starting labour.

But when we were there, I was indeed in labour. 4 cm dilated to be specific. I was given Dexsar to help the baby's lungs develop faster to adapt to the breathing in air world. The hitch was the medication needed 2 doses administered 12 hours apart, and a total of 24 hours for it to work fully. We may not have that much time. I was put on sabutamol to relax the womb and hopefully buy some time.

The pedae arrived and was on standby, and the prognosis according to him was worrying. Lots of things could go wrong with a birth this early. 29weeks + 2 days. Not to mention the astronomical costs of Neonatal ICU (NICU) at a private hospital, estimated at $1k per day, for 2-3 months...

We frantically pulled on strings to move me to KK where I hope to get into a C class ward, but KK told the doctors that they were full and I will not be excepted if I were to transfer there. We tried NUH and SGH where both are going to be more expensive than KK, but have a system for reduced charges once fees hit a certain ceiling.

It was passed 12mn, and I woke up my parents. Demanding over their protests to wait till a more godly hour like when the sun is up that they pull on some very distant strings, waking several families in the mean time. And the final verdict was to have me change back into my street clothes and transfer to KK in a private ambulance (making no mentions of the hospital I came from) and just show up at KK A&E. The delivery was thought to be imminent and my gynae and padae were worried enough to hop into the ambulance with me and deliver the baby in the ambulance if necessary. I can't tell you how gratified I was with their unselfish thoughtfulness and professionalism, and the comfort in thought that they were there.

There was some grilling at KK admission, and was told that if not for the dire circumstances that I was in and being unfit to be moved, I would have been moved for there were not enough ventilators. But thank goodness the long distant strings were pulled and favors were granted. No time were lost even during the questioning, and I was quickly changed and examined.

6 cm dilated.

I was given another dose of dexsar at 230am. The doctors dithered with their administration of sabultomol in increasing dosage of 15ml per half hour due to the side effects (both short term and long term) on the heart. But I pleaded with them to up it to the max that my heart could withstand ASAP, before the window closes and the tipping point reach, where too little too late was given before the labour proper starts and the baby would have lost all fighting chance (time) for her lungs to be ready.

They agreed with me, but not before counselling us on the pros and cons, and amongst them... we have 2 other children. The very stark message being, they were responsible for both mother and child, but they judged it to be more important to have 1 mom + 2 kids than 3 kids with no mom. Yes... but still. They upped the sabultamol.

The next 20 hours were filled with waiting, where waiting was good. I was prescribed anti-biotics, blood drawn for various tests, monitored closely to ensure that my heart rate was no higher than 130 per min.

We waited and counted down the 24 hours required for dexsar to work. We didnt dare to hope for much, but celebrated every 30min. At first just to reach 6am (3.5hrs) than to 8:30am (6hrs where a quarter of the dexsar would have worked) than to 2:30pm (for the 2nd dose of dexsar to be administered at KK). We didnt believe that we managed to hold till then, I suspect not even the doctors.

At some point, my heart rate went racing above 138 and blood pressure dangerously low at 94/54. They lowered the sulbutomol, and soon the contractions gotten so much worst that I thought I was going to deliver, they gave me the gas mask and I breathed in freely. We held on and they increased the dosage of sulbutomol partially as my vital stats stabilised.

The target was 2:30 am 1/8/09 but by 10pm, I was post-dilated and the baby's head was low in the birth channel. I felt weak and told E that I could not go on.

He was dissappointed. And I was dissappointed that he was. I mean, the objective was both lives, wasn't it? At this time the doctors came in and he asked again about the side effects of the salbutomol and told them that I was feeling weak. My faith in him thus restored. And the doctors decided that there was no point waiting further. It was 20 hours after the 1st dose of dexsar in KK was administered, the baby's lungs had more than a fighting chance.

The 2 teams of doctors came in to the labour room, and the neonatal team was told to "be ready for resuscitation". I prayed as they pricked the water bag and I started pushing.

Baby V was born 1350gm, 41 cm long and 26 cm head circumference. Stats that were better than we had dared hoped for at such an early gestational period, and historical data from her elder petite siblings.

A CRY! A small cry from the baby! She's breathing! She does not need resuscitation!

That took everyone by surprised. She was quickly cleaned up and wrapped in cling wrap to preserve her body temperature. When she was ready to be pushed into the NICU, the neonatal doc gave E a slap on the back and congratulated him, telling him what a good girl we have there.

It was a minor miracle.

We thank all who had helped and prayed for us.

New Vocab

2009-07-24T19:39:00.003+08:00

I am learning new words almost every day.

Giantic - bigger than a giant

Gooder - Better than good

courtesy of my 4 year old Kiddie J.

Whom I just don't have the heart to correct because I'm laughing so much.

Public Service : Own Time Own Target by Wild Rice Products

2009-07-21T19:36:00.004+08:00

If you are looking for the army play by Wild Rice Productions, the links are below:

Official Website at Wild Rice Ltd

Media Reviews

Sistic Ticketing

You have till 25 July 2009 to catch the show.

This blog has nothing whatsoever to do with the play other than the blogger having had a very good laugh at Michael Chiang's Army Daze many years ago.

Flowers

2009-07-21T18:53:00.002+08:00

It was a colleague's birthday and she received a bouquet of flowers from her hubby amidst some oohs-and-aahs from the office.

It is really kinda sweet considering that they have been married for over 10 years, have 2 kids and she's in her early 30s, despite her fierce objections to ribbing that "she didnt know", "hubby didnt want to carry the flowers when meeting her", and "house got nobody to receive the flowers"...

So i went home and nudge-nudge-wink-wink at hubby and told him about my colleague getting flowers from HER HUBBY.

He was a little shell shocked cos I was (and still am) never much into such gestures...

and the last time I received flowers from him was a single carnation on Mother's Day this year.

All he could managed was an open mouthed "Or..." and uneasy side glances at me.

Kekeke.

The carnation was perfect. Birthday Bouquets unnecessary. But it is really alright to let him sweat a little, some times.

;)

Close

2009-07-07T19:32:00.003+08:00

Warning : long rambling post with little joy, some nuggets of truth and too much nagging. At your risk please.

As I carry #3 into the start of 3rd trimester, I find myself pondering more the building and maintaining of a relationship.

Family ties. Friendship. Acquaintances.

Supposedly in that order, and only about family ties today.

And how easy it is to be taken for granted and to take for granted through one's life from birth to adulthood.

OK, it is quite easy to be the center of all attention when in babyhood, no matter when cooing or when one is a screaming bundle of baby blues, especially the latter. The baby generally does not care except that there is a warm body to feed, cloth, cuddle and change a wet/ dirty nappy. (oh but i hear you, if one is not a fish, what does one knows what a fish feels?) There is no question of being taken for granted and when the foremost consideration is survival (for both the baby and the parent) and as much sleep as possible (for the parent).

As one grow older, it is easy to take for granted the simple yet total idolization of a child. Sadly some parents inflate themselves and mistakenly believes in their own invincibility as pro-offered in the child's eyes. They then forget that they are all the child have at this stage and do not tend to the relationship with TLC, instead littering it with careless little snubs and these impressions lasts forever. Rejection and disappointment is never gonna be forgotten, they may be fresh as a open wound, or some what healed with a scar. A child longing for a hug being told by a parent that this is not what is practiced in that conservative Asian family will never again accept a pro-offered hug or offer one to that same parent. A parent who brushes off a child questions and opinion because they are from a child and not a peer will never be his confidante.

As the child grows into a tween or young adult, he assumes the cloak of invincibility when one is young and unafraid, and therefore scorn the advice or the elders (though truth be told, the road to hell is paved with good intentions). Instead of learning from others' mistakes, he prefers to make his own and learn at his own pace. The prerogative of the young.

The child morphs into an adult. If the ties are strong and multi-layered, there will be mutual affection and care. If the relationship was based on logic, there might be cordial filial piety. It may end up a cold calculation of usefulness and worth or worst, abandonment if the child feels unloved or received little care as a child.

As one enters into old age, there then descends a very logical (but may not be wholly justified) thinking that one is owed for the resources given. Unfortunately, it is often misunderstood by the old that the food and shelter they have given should be returned in form of love and affection, instead of in kind.

So the opportunity of being taken for granted and taking for granted abounds through one's life and there I was just musing about the family one is born into, not even a marriage...

Nonetheless, all of us are guilty of assuming that our parents will live forever. Utter foolishness.

The possibility of finding one's ideal restitution (say the wrong-doer asking for forgiveness and repenting) is rare. But it is not impossible to forgive and let go even when the wrong-doer knows of and asks for none. But to forgive is not to heal the wrong-doer, but the wronged. (what? did you think i was going to say that "forgive is divine"? please...)

If one is unable to walk on the wider path and conjure up forgiveness, I do recommend that one at least try to let go. Let go of the hurt. Holding on to a open wound, repeatedly visiting it and peeling at the scab gives the other too much power, and is a waste of energy. Imagine moving through life with an open wound on a limb where every touch, even by unsuspecting others, or a scene from a movie/ book/ whatever triggers fresh blood and pain. Why allow it?

Back to the family. There really is not anything we can do to change another, the will of younger being especially powerless against the older (no matter the age, the equation holds). So I say enjoy the moment, be it a family meal or watching TV together. Stop rolling your eyes, be a duck and let the small stuff roll off your back like so much water.

For long suffering and on-going hurts, say one's piece and move on. Again, only you can decide what you choose to carry, what will hurt you, and be hurt only because you allow it.

What I CAN do NOW is to learn from the mistakes of others and start nurturing my relationship with my own and teach them that:
- they are loved no matter what they do. I will get angry but I still love them.
- they are worthy of love by others and themselves. Only an understanding of one's self-worth can build a strong foundation for self-love and self-respect.
- love is manifested by physical affection and care in a multitude of small and sometimes unseen ways. Love is thought AND action.

And other things I want them to internalize are that:
- they are capable of doing and being anything they want. Obviously the degree of success differs based on natural ability or inclination, but dream and DREAM BIG! You'll never know unless you try.
- a sense of right and wrong for oneself, family and society. One cannot truly say to love one self or family without consideration for the wider society too.

Virtual Relationship

2009-06-29T19:25:00.003+08:00

Blogging, emailing, twittering, facebooking etc are fine

The form doesn't matter as long as the content and sincerity is there, where sharing and discussions take place, and a connection is maintained.

They can only add to a relationship in RL (real life) for the lack of time, or effect of distance.

But it gets kind of sad if a real life relationship is reduced to forwarding chain letters, urban legends and hoaxes. No?

Violence

2009-06-17T18:52:00.003+08:00

I witnessed the aftermath of some senseless violence recently, when the victim showed me her bruises on the arm where she was grabbed, and the faint redness on her cheek where she was boxed/ slapped.

Violence in any kind is absolutely wrong. There is just no justification of ever laying hands on another, especially one weaker, no matter what. And especially due to the lost of one's self control, which shows just who is indeed weaker in the mind.

But as a car accident where there is no justification for rear-ending the car in front or worst, knocking down a person; both sides of the stories need to be presented for the judge to award degree of culpability.

Knowing both personalities, I cannot say that my sympathies lie 100% with the victim although it is clear in my conviction that any and all violence is wrong.

While I just cannot imagine that the act could not have been avoided- by tact on the part of the victim, and self-control on the part of the perpetrator, better communication before things went into a downward spiral.

Though I am practical enough to understand that things do not disintegrate/ degenerate overnight, and the path could only have led to this.

THEN WHY DID THEY GO DOWN THAT PATH? Did they not see with their eyes open? Did they not care? WHAT?!

I pray that I'll never fall victim in such a circumstance in any relationship. Be it my marriage, or with my children/ their spouse when I'm old and frail, or even my future grandchildren, or whosoever over violence of whatever kind.

I'll walk.

I'll fight back.

I might forgive but never forget.

The road to healing will be long and can never be bought.

But the power is not in the prevention or even in standing up for yourself, but in the strength of the relationship through years of building and management such that there is simply no place for violence.

But we're talking about me.

And in this case, a few well chosen useless babbles may well be enough to cover the incident for awhile, leaving nothing resolved. What a distaste it leaves in my mouth...

Right

2009-06-07T14:45:00.003+08:00

"Mommy, I have a surprise for you!" Kiddie E screamed as I got home.

She had gone shopping with her grandpa and bought something... it looked like a bottle of soda, not juice, not beer (just a wild guess to kid with her), not ribena...

It was a bottle of Waitrose Low Sugar Bitter Lemon

For ME.

Since becoming pregnant and with my history of gestational diabetes, I have been on a restricted carbo diet which means low sugar every thing or nothing.

Waitrose Low Sugar Bitter Lemon and Low Sugar Tonic Soda had been my savior during times of sugar cravings, especially the first.

Unfortunately they are only available from Cold Storage/ Market Place, where half the time is out of stock.

She had somehow noted my disappointment and that we didnt manage to get any during our last 2 grocery runs in the last month, while playing pretend-cashier games and pushing the trolley.

I am speechless. This is the absolutely first independent thing that she's done for me, not the obligatory class art project for mother's day etc.

Not even grandpa's doubts could persuade her to not buy it, though he did stop her from buying TWO. The only thing she got for herself and Kiddie J was a packet of Kindo Bueno each.

I am blessed with love from this young child of just a month over 7 years, borne from my loins.

There are still many things to learn as parents, but I think we've gotten some of them right.

Priceless

2009-05-21T15:14:00.004+08:00

Was driving to work and realised that my fuel gauge pointed to slightly less than 1/4 tank full. Decided to top up after work.

BIG MISTAKE, as the 2 stations closest to my office were unbelievably out of fuel after work.

I decided to drive to dinner at in-laws' before topping up since the station there is nearer than the one close to my home.

THEN the fuel alarm came up half way to dinner...

ARGH! I entertained scary thoughts of being stranded on PIE during evening traffic while I turned down the air-conditioning, free wheeling as much as possible and using the brakes as little as possible.

I knew that there was another station even nearer to my in-laws than the one I was familiar with but reluctant to explore in my circumstance.

SO I drove straight to dinner, and reported to E of my predicament.

He went off with nary a grumble to the nearest station to top up my fuel tank, arming himself with his hand phone juuuuust in case.

He made it back with a grin, and after having gone to the next nearest station as he couldnt find the nearest station too...

That warm fuzzy feeling to drive home with a full tank that night was priceless. :)

Limping along

2009-05-14T18:54:00.006+08:00

Sigh.

I first got wind of the Pre in Jan 09 (when it was still known as the Palm Nova Device) , and booked E to get it for my Valentine's Day present with way too much blind optimism.

My birthday since passed.

Mother's Day too.

The next viable present receiving occasion is probably Christmas... if that.

Unfortunately my current ~~crappy~~ trusty easily-4-year old SE w800i is dying although you almost cant tell from its appearance apart from its dislocated rubber pad from the track stick and loose camera lens cover.

But I know better. It has been trying to reply to sms via voice instead of the default text mode; auto playing of mp3; battery less holding power; the increasing tendency to hang and requiring a reboot with battery removed.

So my w800i and I are limping along and ... waiting.

Oh good grief.

So when, Palm?

Normal

2009-05-13T16:53:00.002+08:00

I have never been so happy to receive a "normal" for a test.

Not outstanding, not extra-ordinary, just "normal". And how beautiful.

Oh, to have my birthday wish come true without having blown a candle. Priceless.

Austerity Measures

2009-05-13T16:31:00.003+08:00

Since becoming seriously broke about Oct last year, I have been on a strict austerity drive. Strict because of the necessity and simply because there was no room to wriggle.

But things have started slowly looking up over the last couple of months. From a loss position amounting to the 100% cash outlay to buy a full licensed car, the paper losses decreased and I have actually managed to take some profit and still have some surplus left in the portfolio.

What a difference in less than a year.

Unfortunately old habits die hard. The austerity measures have since become ingrained in me, and I look at sales information with indifference, noting nothing of interest and nothing of need.

That's mostly welcomed, since it only serves to strengthen my overall financial position.

Somehow an austerity DRIVE had become an austere LIFE, and I cant think of anything that I'd WANT that needs to be BOUGHT.

UNFORTUNATELY, I also could not think of anything material that I wanted for my birthday or Mother's day, much to the discomfort of E who usually relies on me to tell him what to buy for me. So this year, HE had nothing to show for it when my sis happily informed all that her hubby bought her a heart-rate monitor for Mother's Day...

Now, if that Palm PRE would launch really soon, that will definitely help. :)

ps. Many thanks to those who have said a prayer and sent well wishes with regards to my portfolio.

Birthday Present

2009-04-29T15:58:00.000+08:00

It is my birthday today.

There had been several well wishes via sms, emails and Facebook.

But I've just taken the amniocentesis test yesterday, and all I want is for the little one to be ok.

Dream Marathon

2009-04-22T19:19:00.003+08:00

I've found THE dream marathon.

The Marathon du Medoc, in Bordeaux France.

42.195km winding between Chateaus, vineyards and rose bushes; interspersed with 22 WINE stands and some of which serve STEAKS and SAUSAGES! A tradition of fancy dress, a party the night before, during, after and the day after!

I'm breathless for having just typed those descriptions.

While I plan out the logistics, work up the courage and save up the moolah, here's a beautiful account of 1 who participated.

Wishes

2009-04-14T16:41:00.002+08:00

We were watching "In the womb" on Discovery over the weekend, and I took the chance to ask the kids if they wanted a baby brother or sister.

Kiddie J aka #2 thought about it and said "YES"
Then I asked her "Do you want a 妹妹 (little sister) or 弟弟 (little brother)?"
"I want a 妹妹"
hmmm... ok.

I turned around and asked Kiddie E aka #1.
And she said "I want a 姐姐 (elder sister)"

LOL

Sex and the Baby

2009-04-03T17:53:00.004+08:00

We haven't told #1 and #2 about the impending #3.

I'm waiting for the tummy to show enough for the kids to ask about it. I'm absolutely NOT going to tell them now, only to have them ask "where?". Plus it can only be good when the timeframe from the incessant "Is the baby coming yet" till "It is here" is shorter rather than longer.

Plus I'm not relishing the expected piles of questions kids will ask... I mean, seriously, did YOU ever ask where did YOU come from?

I did and while there were plenty of answers, none of them seem straight. Yup, I knew, even at that young age. Did you believe that you were picked up from a rubbish dump? Or some bird brought you??

Not only that, kids of my generation were so lacking in reproductive system and pregnancy information since nobody would talk about it. It was like fight club "You don't talk about it".

What I finally did learn, none came from my parents...

Anyways, while growing up, the scraps of information I received/ found out/ guessed were:

1. My parents were married a year after they met, and my granny started to watch over my mom's tummy from day 1. She was just so sure that they were getting married because my mom got pregnant.

2. I was born just about a year into their marriage. You've thought that that meant I knew I couldn't have been conceived before their marriage... NO! What did kids my age at my time know about pregnancy?
- Was it 9 months of pregnancy? or
- 10 months according to the Chinese saying of 十月怀胎
- 哪扎 was born after his mom had him for 3 years
- The only thing I was sure of was that it was impossible to have been 十年怀胎

3. Then I found out about sex... and it hit me. My parents had to have done it twice to have me and my sister.
WAITAMINUTE, maybe MORE cos maybe it doesnt work EVERYTIME, right? Say they have to try 10 times, that means 20 for me and sis.
Or was it 20 times each? It was mind boggling and I was trully disturbed for awhile.
Thank goodness I didnt catch on that they were still doing it AFTER they had us.

So I've been trying to spare my kids the agony of such uncertainty and sense of rejection.
- Who threw me away in the rubbish dump first before you came to pick me up?
- Somebody else could have picked me up!
- What kind of incompetent bird dropped me?
- And did it drop me to the correct people?
- Did I land on my head?

We started by teaching them the proper names of the human body, including reproductive organs and simple age-appropriate explanation when the need arise.

The first of which was "How do baby get inside their mommies stomach?"
Daddy put a seed into mummy and the seed will slowly grow into a baby.
Passed with FLYING COLORS there!

Thaaat's the easy one, and they haven't started again but I'm dreading the day when...

"How did Daddy put the seed into your tummy?"

...

...

...

Go ask your dad.

#3

2009-03-30T17:09:00.002+08:00

Oh, the lack of posts, the most recent hospitalization and medications is because of #3.

Btw, the "dread and fingers crossing that it wouldn't happen but it did" did not refer to #3 but the weak constitution leading to high risk of real/ threatened miscarriage... which I had suffered and gridded through for both Kiddie E and Kiddie J. Juuuust in case anybody is wondering...

On a recent scan, the fetus was extremely active with the whole little being bouncing in regular intervals. E thought this might means equals boy... until the gyn said the baby was having hiccups.

LOL

Kids say the truest things

2009-03-30T16:02:00.003+08:00

Since returning from hospital, I have been taking lots of medication including one jab a day with a size 23 needle, injected about an inch into the top outer quarter of my butt.

Kids found it fascinating to see E cutting the rim of the vials, snapping them and pulling the 10ml oil-based med into a syringe with a needle, wiping the injection site with antiseptic wipe, injecting me and slapping a plaster over the pin hole.

The first few times were ok with a pain level of 4 on an ascending scale of 1 to 10. The injection being done on alternate butt cheeks. But since each jab leaves some residual medication at the injection site, it was pretty soon when the areas hardened with the congestion, and along with that - pain.

The pain got worst and worst and hitting level 8s and 9s, and the kids watch in morbid fascination (it's scary how it is even possible with kids these young...) as I grimace through every injection.

I decided to make it a life lesson with them by telling them about the pain, and how I am enduring it without crying, throwing tantrums or not doing it, because it is necessary, blah blah blah.

Kiddie E came back, "Yes, Mummy is not crying. Mummy only say oh-oh-ouch-ouch."

LOL

Hospitalised again.

2009-03-10T17:28:00.000+08:00

yup, i was hospitalised again

Ok, it wasn't related to the first incident, and you might even say that i was expected it sooner or later with plan #3... (albeit with much dread and fingers crossing that it wouldn't happen but it did)

Anyways, thank goodness it was 有惊无险, with 2 nights stay, daily injection and lots of medication.

Gonna be out of action for awhile which is a boon for all the books and DVDs that i have piled up at home that I've yet to read and watch, but a bane for work should I be out for too long. It really is such inconvenient time... sigh.

More next time.

Yes, you are.

2009-02-27T17:32:00.003+08:00

Promise me you will always remember:
You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem and
smarter than you think

Some wisdom there. From mouth of babes, or more accurately, a children's book- Christopher Robin from Pooh Bear books.

This i want to tell to my children.

and i guess it works a lot of us adults too.

Be strong.

My 25 random things

2009-02-18T16:58:00.001+08:00

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you!

1. I was a tomboy growing up who would sulk and/or cry if I had to wear a dress for CNY/ wedding or birthday dinner. I might still be one.

2. I was a marksman with the AR15 in the NCC

3. I can cook from scratch with or without a recipe, decently.

4. I am mortally afraid of lizards. E helps me catch most of them at home but I catch all the cockroaches, so we're about even.

5. My 2 favorite books are "Lord of the Rings" and "红楼梦", both of which I had read at least 15 times.

6. I can't live without chilli. I'm not sure if I want to live without chilli.

7. I drive too fast for my Nissan March. I'm not sure if I will still be driving too fast or at the right speed for the car if I have a more powerful car.

8. I made my father cry when I refused to continue my studies in the Uni. We compromised by my applying only to the 2 business schools of NUS and NTU, if I didn't get into either, I could pursue other options. I was accepted into NUS Bizad. I'm glad I went.

9. I sang alto in my primary school choir, and we performed at youth festival concerts etc.

10. The 2 friends closest to my heart are both "yanling"s. I'm truly blessed.

11. I aced all my chinese exams in school, once topping my cohorts for the year in Secondary School.

12. I used to hand make Christmas Cards for my close friends from Primary 5 to Uni 1.

13. I flunk Uni 1 for failing stats at twice. Devastating but it made me less afraid of failures.

14. I love BBQ chicken wings, and buffalo wings with blue cheese dip!

15. I am good with my hands and can do most handicrafts including knitting and croqueting, but I haven't learned how to use a sewing machine yet.

16. I once drank 2 3/4 jug of beer in 1.5 hours.

17. I learned to do make up by applying them to only half a face and see it was any improvement

18. I had pre-cancerous cells taken out during a colonscopy.

19. My favorite beach is Chrissy Beach in San Francisco, and favorite holiday location in Phuket.

20. My comfort food is my mom's rice porridge with fish slices and meat balls.

21. I can only eat eat yellow flat noodles if they are part of Hokkien Mee, and never in soup.

22. I played lots of sports and tried different types of exercises growing up. Volley ball, Badminton, Table Tennis, Tennis, Squash, Cycling, Bowling, Cross-country running, Kickboxing, Pilates etc. I realized I only played team sports where the other team is on the OTHER side.

23. My favorite cocktail is a hurricane which I first tried in New Orleans.

24. I want to complete at least one triathlon this lifetime, but first I need to learn to swim the freestyle properly, do so in open seas AND to cycle on the road.

25. E, my 2 girls and I hug, kiss and say "I love u"s to each other each time we leave the house for work/ school.

The Kiss - 11

2009-02-13T15:22:00.003+08:00

A labor of love.

Completion is the only option.

I scribbled some notes at the back without telling E before framing it up ,will he find out some day?

Happy Valentine's Day.

Mistake

2009-02-13T15:09:00.002+08:00

They say that it is better to do a thing correctly the first time, or it will cause way more cost, time & effort to rectify a mistake.

I know and I have always practiced it.

Until a mindless careless offhand gesture of dropping a quick cheque in the deposit box of the wrong bank...

It took:

- 1 call to the ex-manager (it is because he is the EX-manager that I'm tying up all the loose threads) to do an phone-check to see if the bank managed to credit it, and to ask the payer if the cheque had been cleared.

- 1 call received that there was no change in bank balance. no reply on whether cheque cleared.

- 1 call to the RM of bank of the wrong deposit box, she doesnt knows what happens to wrong cheques deposited.

- 1 call from the EX-sales engineer that the payer had received the cheque (the wrong bank had mailed the cheque to the cheque-issuing bank, who mailed it back to them)

- 1 call to ascertain the location of the cheque - office in Kaki Bukit

- 45min being unable to find 18 Kakit Bukit Road 3 and there were no building numbers on the road directory.

- 3 calls later, I was told it was a red building with a kopitiam underneath it. The building was called Entrepreuner Business Center which WAS on the road directory, it was white with red awings and BLUE coloumns... I guess she just couldnt pronounce "Entrepreuner"

- parking was $0.50

- $0.27 in parking + 15min for a branch of the right bank which had since moved from Jurong East Central

- Finally finding that they moved back to the previous location in Corporation road.

= NOT to mention the cost of petrol to cover that 50km

boy, am i tired today.

and all i did was to rectify a mindless careless mistake.

The Kiss - 10

2009-02-12T12:22:00.003+08:00

There is no way around it, the one and only plan is to try to fit the balance pieces one to another, eliminating those that don't fit and moving on to the next.

There were some intelligent guesses based on adjacent shapes and size, but that was as much help as a candle flame in a cold dark winter's night (any guesses on what song were the corny last 5 words lifted from? :D )

Slowly and painstakingly, it gets done. The "only" remaining pieces are those left in the box, instead of bags full...

It WILL be done.

Dinner at Fabianne's bistro at PP

2009-02-12T12:09:00.003+08:00

We celebrated E's birthday and since I had a craving for meat, we went to Fabianne's bistro at PP again for dinner.

We ordered
- 1/3 panini bread with presto sauce (free)
- 1 panini bread with presto sauce cos E loves bread and becos our very nice/ friendly/ attentive server, Ana had misinformed us about the size of our mains...
- 1 spicy crab soup, good with chunky pieces of crab meat, but disturbingly like a very milky curry...
- 1 caesar salad
- 1 pan fried foie gras with very nice caramalised pineapple sauce. But portion too small (even after E let me have 2/3 of it :o )
- 1 wagyu tenderlolin which was aged for 60 days. It was nicely charred on the outside, but it was just a tad over done for our medium raw, the meat was pink but juices were not oozing out with every cut, there were no fibres in the meat and lacked the chew that i like. Not enough charred fats too. I should have gone with the striploin. :(
- 1 crackling pork belly. Basically roast pork done Brazilian style. Not crackling enough on the top, and not salty enough at the bottom. Go for the catonese style. The portion was twice what Ana had described to us, and we struggled to finish it.
- 1 guiness stout
- 1 house pour red wine which was very good and went well with the food.

10% off with Citibank credit card.

I'm not sure if I'll come back again, but those were damn good paninis...

Presents

2009-02-10T18:07:00.003+08:00

It is really tough when E's birthday is so close to V-day, the Most Commercialized and Over-rated Day of the year, at least there is some sort of goodwill towards mankind with Christmas.

I can only thank god that we do not celebrate a white day (14-March IIRC*) that the Japanese do. Oh wait, maybe I should wish that we do, since that is the day when boys give things to girls... argh. whatever.

Last year, we went to Morton's on me (it was over-rated and under value for money, thank god for credit card redemption vouchers...)

This year's gift is super-easy, he ran out (more accurately, it had been so long since he last used it and the smell went bad) and I bought him this

The Kiss - 07, 08 & 09

2009-02-10T17:24:00.005+08:00

It is getting tougher, but at least there some shiny poppy looking flowers in the flowery ground.

And there is logic to the madness... sort of,

Thankfully I also managed to plug some holes that were left in the vines beneath the female's feet.

But once that is done, I find myself scrapping the bottom of the barrel to delay the inevitable bronze background.

I dug out all the pieces of bronze which had a small part (however small) which could fit to main picture, and that helped, like 30 pcs...

As I was shifting through the bronze pieces, i realized that the borders have different size for each side too.

Thank Goodness, or I would have either gone blind or coo-coo just when I am so close to the finish.

To my own amazement, I did managed to finish the border, and even better I can see very subtle difference in the bronze, i.e. very dark bronze vs very very dark bronze...

I hope that counts for something.

The Kiss - 05 & 06

2009-02-06T11:29:00.002+08:00

There is little progress over the robe, which I had thought couldnt be too difficult since there were designs that could be followed, right? Unfortunately they came in such small fragmented pieces that it was almost impossible to eyeball the picture and choose a meaningful color and place it correctly the first time, or the second, and maybe I'll lucky on the third.

Move on to the face and hair. 30min's work. Not too bad. The "easy" part is over.

The robe is complete! 2 hours worth! But oh so satisfying :)

Victory is short-lived.

But there is nothing easy with the uniformly bronze background and the flowery floor. But between the devil and and hard place, I'll take the flowery floor anytime...

The Kiss - 03 & 04

2009-02-05T11:51:00.005+08:00

Amongst the pack of floweries, there were some that had speckles of gold which looked like heart-shaped leaves and vines, i picked those out and completed the base which the female was kneeling on.

Slightly over an hour for the picking and fixing for just over 100 pcs.

This is slow work but still progress.

I started picking out the pieces with lines and blocks, separating them into black/ light colors and gold.

That took more than 30 mins. I'm too tired to go on... but I can't stop yet, or the girls may try to help in the morning and simply force pieces to fit together...

Ok, some of the male's robe is seeing form. But I really have to stop now... zzz

The Kiss - 02

2009-02-04T17:15:00.003+08:00

I started on the non-shiny bits which were "easier" because I didnt have to point them every which way to see the base color under different angles.

Also because they had vivid colors that corresponded to known parts the picture. The female's dress to be specific.

Unfortunately, there were so few of them. Like less than 100 pcs in 45min

So I divided those pieces with straight edges to bronze versus and colorful, and worked on the colorful ones. Not too difficult but again, too few of them. Another 50 pcs in 25min

Then I decided to dive into the shinies. Those that are pale gold but with some sort of swirly patterns to them.

Tough tough tough. But at least some of them attach to the completed dress of the female.

And time flew, cos it was 1hr 15min later that i finished that less than 100 pcs.

Argh. Sore back, stiff shoulders, blurry eyes.

But it is starting to take shape.

The Kiss - 01

2009-02-03T18:46:00.007+08:00

My first words upon opening the box of jigzaw at home were "These will kill me..."

1000 pcs of 1.5x1.5cm pieces with the majority differentiated only by being gold, slightly less gold, darker gold, bronze, reddish bronze, darkish bronze, small specks of gold, larger specks of gold, some dark brown, very brown, dark brown, black...

It is going to take f o r e v e r.

It took me 1.5 hours just to sort them into 5 bags of straight borders, gold family, bronze family, flowery family, non-glittery family.

I had to stop when my eyes were seeing stars even when they were closed.

E never did have a passion for puzzles growing up and could not understand why I would 找罪受(find trouble for myself)...

but But BUT it was a LABOR OF LOVE!

*pout*

The Kiss

2009-02-03T18:04:00.002+08:00

Had always been moved by the life-sized The Kiss painted by Gustav Klimt.

Not just the imagery of the possessive pose of the male holding the face of the female, almost engulfing her with his embrace and his robe, her surrender, her delicate hands and ankles, the masculine lines and blocks in the male's robe, and swirls and circles in hers, the jewelled tone of the whole painting...

Everything. The whole and every bit of it just mesmerizes me.

I had never found a satisfactory reproduction of it, they were not glittery enough, they were too small, they were too crude.

Then I found one in Vietnam, where the painting was made with shells. It was probably US$70, but it was slightly off in its translation and eventually too heavy to carry home.

Nonetheless, I took a picture of it and used it as E's calling card in my hand phone.

It was enough. For a while.

Until I chanced upon a jigzaw shop which had one completed puzzle framed up. Alas, it was a plain reproduction which was not bejewelled.

We decided to try our luck and ask if they had one with glitter. They did, and showed me a 1000 pcs puzzle. I broke my no-spending vow, and bought it with a frame, thus starting my labor of love.

Stop crying

2009-01-19T15:29:00.003+08:00

Kiddie E started Primary 1 this year.

E and I "accompanied" her on the 1st 3 days of school. i.e. Sending her to school, sending her to queue up according to her class, watch her eat her snacks during recess, and watch her get on to the correct school bus to go home. None of which actually doing anything with her or for her.

She seemed fine and enjoyed school most of the time. She also seemed rather surprised that some of the other P1s cried in school.

E and I couldnt hide our pride that our little girl was handling her 1st major milestone so well. But I guess we spoke too soon...

Cos she was fine UNTIL parents were no longer allowed into the school compound from the 4th day onwards, having to stop right in our tracks at the school gates...

THEN the tears started flowing.

Not the BWA-WA-WA type, but the silent tears spilling out of the eyes, rolling over the cheeks and the chin, and plopping onto the front of her school uniform type...

sigh.

I didnt "actually" see cos E sends her to school on his way to work. Thankfully. But it was heart-pain all the same from hearing his report and imagining it.

When I met her at home at the end of the day, she came to me for comfort and told me that she had cried. "I cried in school today. I never tell lie and say that I didn't cry cos I really cried." Then she proceeded to complain that she didnt like her teachers, her scratchy uniform, the food in the canteen, her classmates, her buddy, and that school was boring.

E reported that she cried the next day too.

She told me that night "I also cried today. BUT I cried less and stopped earlier" to much praises from me.

E reported that she cried on the 3rd day too.

And she said "I cried a little today, but then I read a funny book during silent reading and I stopped crying already."

E reported that she didnt cry on the 4th day.

She said "I didn't cry at all today! ACTUALLY I wanted to cry a little bit, but then I CONTROLLED and I didnt cry"

gosh, my brave little girl.

Prayer

2008-12-31T11:17:00.003+08:00

The year had fleeted pass along with potential and promises unfulfilled.

A prayer be said for the hurts and regrets of the old to be healed.

But dream we still must, and to pray for strength meet with challenges ahead.

And a prayer for a blessed New Year and good health for you.

(this was actually a very difficult post that i've made many different starts.
So many things and emotions, not least in light of the scare. So many things to think about. So much unknown and left unsaid.
Oh God keep my beloveds safe, grant me serenity and lay me down gently.)

Life flashing pass

2008-12-30T19:53:00.004+08:00

Thank you for all the well wishes and concerned messages.

I realised that was kind of abrupt and probably alarming, but it was pretty hairy for awhile and i wanted to put in shorthand to that frame of mind...

Anyways, the short of it was:

It had been a grueling ~~week~~ ~~month~~ ~~few weeks~~ months (you get the picture), and even more so for Christmas as we were rushing for year end closing at work, and rushing preparing for Christmas, not forgetting the drinking episode, and I was tired and sore beyond belief.

My chest hurt, my back hurt and my breathing became shallower. The tightness felt heavier as I tried to plow through the work. During a meeting in IBP, i started sweating in pain. While driving back to my office, i couldnt breathe as the pain was almost unbearable and it was a small miracle that i managed to reach my office without mishap.

But as I tried to settle back to work, the pain came in waves between feelings of dying and barely bearable. i started feeling nauseated. Decided to ditch the car in the office and catch a ride to the nearest GP.

"How are you feeling today?"
"Bad, I'm having chest pains and difficulty breathing"
"What kind of pain?"
"Like 2 steel bars crushing me from front and back, and my heart is about to burst"
"Any tinkling or numbness in the arm?"
"I didnt notice, the pain was overwhelming"
"Any cough or running nose?"
"Nope"
"Are you on any medication"
"Nope"
"Any fever?"
"I dont know"
thermometer showed 38 deg c.
"I'm going to send you to A&E"
"WHAT?"
"The symptoms added together may indicate a viral heart infection."
"er... ok"
Imagining the endless waiting in an A&E dept "Should i have dinner before i go?"
"NO! the condition may cause SUDDEN DEATH"
*gasp!*

my life didnt exactly flash passed me, but all i could think about was
- what's going to happen to my kids?
- How's E going to handle not having me there?
- Who's going to cook that mushroom stew for pot luck gathering the next day?
- What's going to happen to the presents i got for everybody?
... ... i know, i can only plead confusion as my defense.

I took the doctor's letter to NUH A&E, and upon seeing the scary phrases of "chest pain" "difficulty breathing" and high fever, they whisk me through triage on a wheelchair and directly into A&E for chest x-ray and ECG. Even registering almost everything for me with me only having to give my own and ICE contact details.

Fortunately but anti-climactically, i started feeling better and even my fever started coming down without medication.

After asking almost the same questions as the GP, and asking about family history (Dad survived a minor heart attack at 58). But seeing that I am a pre-menopausal non-smoker female, they decided that it could be pulmonary embolism which is a sudden blockage in a lung artery.

The doctors took my blood for tests, hooked me up on to an automated blood pressure and heart rate monitor and put a tap into the top of my hand and... left me there.

Under the bright lights of the observation room and incessant beeping of monitors and machines, i spent my time people watching. The doctors being very focused on their own patients and ignoring other patients, the nurses doing almost the same with some trying to look busy, the patients either just lying there or raising a ruckus refusing to pee/ defecate into their diapers, wanting to leave or just being plain delusional. The majority of the patients were the elderly as expected, but a couple were minor accident victims who were hurt badly enough to not have to queue at the waiting area but not enough to be operated on (yet).

3 hours later, they came to check on me, they knew enough to know that they didnt know what was happening to me and so refused to let me leave. It was thus decided that i will take a series of 3 blood tests in 8 hour intervals that will determine if i had suffered any heart damage. I was then sent to the EDTU (Extended Diagnostic and Treatment Unit) just after midnight.

E had been waiting for 2 hours outside A&E by then, came in to talk to the doctor and to see me and pass me a book. :)

I was then plastered with ECG Monitoring Electrodes

all over over in kinda like this pattern although i had more...

adjoined to 2 sets of lead wires (each holding 5 clamps) and left alone to catch some sleep.

Since E didnt come from home, he didnt bring my glasses and i decided to leave my contact lenses on.

Surprisingly, not only I was able to fall asleep, I slept well.

They took my blood twice more, and since all the tests were negative let me discharge with a MC for 3 days, a letter and a caution. That i was to make my way immediately to a polyclinic or hospital with the letter in hand if i was to suffer another episode within the week.

I then left the hospital to go home to make a mushroom stew dish , and also wrap presents for belated Christmas gift-exchanges, and arrive for pot luck dinner gathering with friends at 630pm.

Unfortunately, 3 bites into the pot luck dinner, my chest started hurting and i started sweating profusely. I was probably taking the whole thing too easy. I didnt want to alarm my friends (who didnt know know about the hospitalization) so I pushed the food around my plate and tried to breathe. And little by little, the pain went away.

That was 3 nights ago, and 4 more to go.

And oh, E said that my mushroom stew was the best dish of the pot luck dinner :)

Close shave

2008-12-29T17:14:00.002+08:00

Little did i imagine when i woke up, that i'd have spent my night in NUH A&E EDTU.

drink drank drunk

2008-12-23T18:54:00.003+08:00

tis the season to be merry...

but the so-called company dinner was any but

a spate of negative news from bad job management, decisions and the financial crisis had knocked the wind out of us.

The year started looking bright with hopes of 吃鲍鱼 (eating abalone), which degraded to 吃咸鱼 (eating salted fish) towards the end of the year, and it looks like we're all going to 吃草 (eating grass) at the end.

I was doubly groomy for having only partially recovered the share losses which I had sustained.

So anyways, I joined the dinner being tired and dejected and hungry (traffic was hell into Orchard road, I waited for 20min to get into the car park of pacific plaza!), and started drinking red wine to be social. But when we escalated to 女儿红 and a jocky was booked to bring me and my car to the KTV, and who will bring me home after the KTV.

I started enjoying the drinks a little.

It was then to the KTV where more drinking ensued.

LOTS MORE drinking ensued. So much that 20 shots of brandy were laid out on trays for fast and easy drinking.

...................................................

I woke up with a start.

Naked.

With a bath towel covering me, on my sofa at home.

!!!!!!!!!

it was 530am.

I jumped up and thrown on some clothes, and started checking inventories.

- Bag check
- Wallet check
- Home keys check
- Car keys check
- Handphone check
- Clothes in the laundry basket check
- Jacket check
- Boots near shoe cabinet check

hmm... so it seems i got home and showered and fell asleep before getting dressed, thats not toooo bad (especially since i woke up before i was found)

waitaminute, i'm forgetting something. WHERE is my watch and rings?

Not at my dresser, not on the hall table, i'm not wearing them, nothing.

I didnt give them away to some KTV hostess did I? GASP!

PANIC.

OMG, i found them on the sink in the bath room.

PHEW*

ok, too much excitement, the headache is killing me. need to lie down.

.............................................

E woke me up and asked if I puke in the toilet cos it was slightly messy. I told him i cant remember but i must have cos i have nothing left in my gut.

He had to run all the errands with the kids for the day as I slept the whole Saturday away. He's not a happy camper but he didnt complain. gosh* I love this man.

.............................................

It was only nearing the end of the night when i was 80% recovered that i wondered.

"Did i mess up my car?"

but i was still too weak to go check, besides there isnt a good excuse for me to go out so late in the evening to my car...

oh good grief.

.............................................

It was only Sunday night that i managed to check on my car.

Did i stink up my car by having messed it up and letting it fester for TWO WHOLE DAYS?

oh no please...

Turn out I didnt.

Thank goodness.

Bird

2008-12-15T16:52:00.002+08:00

Been eating like a bird, subsisting on about 1.5 meals a day.

It started off with being too busy and forgetting to eat until the pains come.

Then I developed some stomach troubles which left me with not much appetite.

And now I've simply stop feeling that hungry much.

Kinda weird, since I've always prided myself as one who live to eat rather than eat to live, usually planning ahead to next meal's menu while I still eating the current meal.

So things are Not good.

Okaaaay, the possible weight loss in the future may be sorta nice, but I've never been one to obsess about it anyways since I'm ok with +/- 5% or 10% most days. (the qualifying notes re possible and future is because I haven't actually weigh myself recently to check if there's been any change...)

Gonna have to try to eat some small breakfast before leaving home in the morning, and have a lunch and a dinner at decent times instead of supper times. And buy some stuff to stock up in the office.

There'll still be hope if I take action rather than just think about it...

Todoist

2008-12-04T20:14:00.003+08:00

I just found the best FREE little web-based to do list at Todoist.com

It is really simple.and oh, in case you're wondering where is my pda phone, i gave mine to E cos his died after he got soaked in a game of golf, and i havent got a new one (partly becos i'm too broke)

It:
- has just 4 lines to sign up, your name, email add, password, timezone
- loads fast
- creates project with subtasks with choices on date, priority
- sorts by date/ priority
- queries various ways
- recurring events
- calculates days to due date
- allows you to print
- has nifty intuitive shortcuts
- write notes
- integrate with Gmail, Firefox tool bar etc etc
- i'm still finding out the rest... it does have a premium version but i cant think of what else i might need (until i check that out i guess)

Very very nice.

Getting organised is just step 1, getting things done is the goal. Now if I'll ~~stop procrastinating~~ finish this post, i'll get some real work done.

Love in the time of Austerity

2008-11-21T19:32:00.004+08:00

Even before being desperately poor since the market's crashing to a 5-year low, I have been taking personal austerity measures for a couple of months now.

No book buying from Borders, no matter the discount - I go to the National Library.
No new clothes - the last was a pair exercise pants from duty-free shopping in Changi Airport in September. the previous last were 2 $8 t-shirts from Baleno sale in August. and before that probably a shirt in May.
No curry puff/ bbq pork/ egg tarts/ chocolate/ snacks except the from the pantry hoard at home, and nothing new until the hoard runs out.
No drinks at lunch - only soup if available with meal, else cooler or tea from office
No new bags - the absolute last was a Coach bag that E bought for during USA trip, and none else this year.
No new shoes - the last were 2 pairs from factory outlet (ok, i confess! they were nine west. but still!) during USA trip in August, old shoes to mended by roadside cobbler instead of Mr. Minute.
No new toiletries/ cosmetics until everything has been used up
Saving electricty and water at home
Buying groceries only when they are on sale
Choosing cheaper alternative if and when possible

Not much fun to do (or to read i'd imagine... or is it MORE fun to read? ;) ), but essential for my mental and financial health.

I do have 1 indulgence: my pilates class which i utilise to the max by making sure i dont cancel for a fee, i make sure i do all the exercises in the correct form and push myself to the max, and i continue to exercise outside class (i've started jogging again! 30min for 5.5km, not too shabby). The results thus far - a lifted butt (YAY!), trimmer waist and better posture. YAY!!!

I havent saved that much to tell the truth (since i never did used to be a big spender, except on food and drinks, haha), and more than half of what i did save went to the kids.

Good breakfast, Snack after class, Art supplies, School related and required stuff, Clothes and shoes - they grow so fast, Stickers with their names for school supplies, Small pocket money to teach them to budget/ count/ get change and save, Trick and Treats and Kiddie rides within reasonable limits, etc etc

But the pleasure and satisfaction when spending on them is priceless.

And i guess E derives his pleasure when spending on me too. :)

Lunch at Fabianne's Bistro @ Parkway Parade

2008-11-21T17:36:00.003+08:00

Dropped by Parkway Parade over the weekend to check out some shelves at Howard's and lunch.

We were looking for the food court at level B1 and were lucky to passed by a couple of new eateries- a Japanese mini-mart who sold fresh produce and food (which you can eat in the mini-mart), a Brazilian butchery with a bistro, and a bakery.

Needless to say, carnivore that I am, I chose the butchery and we ate at Fabianne's Bistro.

The menu was tempting, offering lots of meat dishes and wagyu beef (from Australia), grass fed beef, aged beef (where a carcass was left to "decompose" slightly in a controlled environment to enhance its flavor and texture, instead of cooking from freshly butchered cows). was that too much information? oops. Pasta, Salad and Soup AND a wine list.

I decided to be wallet conscious and only chose a "normal" steak, E chose the sausage platter of which came with one each of bratwurst, oxford and linguica served with sauerkraut, prawn pasta for the kids (they were very nice to have offered and cooked the dish without chilli) and a ceasar salad to share.

My steak (for the life of me, I cant remember the cut, not tenderloin, not sirloin but something cheaper and fatter) done medium rare (is there any other way?) was tender and satisfying charred on bits of fat. The sausages were interesting, but the sour veg was great! Pasta was good too.

The portions were very generous and the whole meal (with a lemon soda for me and beer for E) came up to about $68.00 (10% off with Citibank Cards).

Cant wait to go back there to try their other stuff, i spied Crackling skin pork belly, Bahian spicy crab soup, and wagyu beef.

But before that, I got to seriously consider their Christmas menu (raw butchered stuff for those who can and want to cook, and roasted stuff for those who only want to eat without prejudice to level of cooking skills).

Other meat places that E and I want to try: 10 at Claymore at Pan Pacific Orchard Hotel (formerly known as Negara Hotel) and Prime Society at Dempsey.

Ominous 2

2008-11-21T17:27:00.003+08:00

What's going on?

The next book i picked up featured an experimental gay relationship and 2 deaths- one by fire and one by brain hemorrhage.

Both stories tempered with acceptance and moving on.

Seriously. What's going on?

Ominous

2008-11-19T19:52:00.003+08:00

2 recent books that i picked up featured gay authors who had way too much drugs in their misguided youth. Funny but sad. I meant the books.

Then i caught an unintended performance of a song that had haunted me on a Taiwanese game show. It drove me to tears in broad day light, during a GAME SHOW.

for a change of pace, i picked up everyman but it started with a funeral and ended with a death.

ARGH.

Fast

2008-11-12T14:25:00.001+08:00

I worry.

My mantra on the road recently has been:

"It's not me, but you're just too slow."

It is TRUE, but still.

Tri-Aktiline Instant Deep Wrinkle Filler

2008-10-23T18:01:00.003+08:00

(Needless to say but this is NOT a paid advertorial. haha.)

It works!

I was skeptical but since it didnt cost an arm and a leg at $75 for 30ml (compared to 6-12 times for botox + filler), I bought one to try 3.5 weeks ago (when i was not that desperately poor yet)

Twice a day application on the 3 long and deep horizontal groves on my neck which had bothered me since school days. Imagine me wearing 3 donut rings and you wont be far from the actual image.

Just a week later, the middle line has the edges on both sides of neck lightened, and the others not as deep.

1.5 weeks later, the top line has lifted to show itself to be 2 lines instead of 1 deep line.

now, at 3.5 weeks later and 1/3 tube down, the bottom line has almost disappeared; the sides of the middle line has disappeared further, leaving only a faint line in the center; the top (2 in 1) line has decreased in depth overall.

I look almost normal.

The miraculous thing is that it is not "cosmetic" only, i.e. such as makeup where the coverage disappears when you wash it off. After showering, the lines are still away! The effect is as if I have stretched my skin without using my fingers. The line is simply not there!

Even better, the effect lasts. I had gone for a 3 days work trip and had forgotten to pack it for the travel. The lines didnt return in the mean time. Upon my return and 1st 2 application, the effect simply continued to improve.

You gotta buy it. For yourself, your mom, your wife, your mom-in-law, your elder sister.

It works. I didnt believe it, but it does.

walk

2008-10-20T17:47:00.004+08:00

Sent my car for 40,000km servicing this morning, and tried to hail a cab back to office.

Started walking towards the main road. Missed a cab as I was walking behind a parked trailer. ARGH.

Crossed the junction, no cab.

Started walking in the direction of my office. Still no cab.

Next junction, a cab turned but it was already hired.

Kept walking and I was just 1 junction away from my office. Decided to walk to the office.

And I reached my office. 2.1km away according to Google maps, and I saved maybe $5 on cab fare.

............

Time to collect my car. I decided to save money (since I'm seriously broke now) and not call a cab, but to try my luck by walking out to hail one.

Walked along the road, saw one cab coming towards me with somebody in it. Perhaps it is my lucky day? I walked a little more to the further junction (to save money, like 10cents...) thinking it "had to" reverse and come out this way... But lo and behold, it was GONE!

Walked out to the main road. No cab.

Crossed the road. Still nothing. Only lots of lorries and FTs on bicycles zooming by, and i'd have to be injured AND crazy to hitch-hike on one...

Kept walking towards the service center. Still no cab.

...

...

...

Yes, 15 min and 2.1km later, I had walked back to the service center from my office.

I'm not sure whether to be glad of the $10 savings, be perplexed over the gods of healthy lifestyle that had chosen me, be thankful for the cloudy weather during the walks, or plain forget about today.

Meaning

2008-10-17T19:45:00.002+08:00

Had watched Chef's Special and Brokeback Mountain back-to-back during a recent trip, and now the song "I kissed a Girl" by Kate Perry is stuck in my head (though the song was not featured anywhere in the movies).

I wonder if there's supposed to be meaning in these?

MRT

2008-10-13T21:13:00.003+08:00

was telling my nanny that i was going on another work trip yet again, and she shook her head.

"Wah, you fly so much, like 空中飞人, taking aeroplane like MRT"

I was a little sheepish, cos actually I take aeroplane MORE than MRT.

:p

Broken

2008-10-10T19:56:00.003+08:00

Just a commemorating post about my pencil.

It broke today, the plastic outer/ metal inner tip actually chipped off as I was writing non too violently.

Maybe it is the age. 13-14 years since I received it as a gift. Absolutely incompatible with me as far image goes, but it brought a smile whenever I used it, precisely because it was so unlike me.

Thanks for the memories.